#Finally decided to make a proper intro

[radio-crow]

Welcome to my Blog!!

BIO:

Ello, I'm Radiocrow but I go by Skully most of the time.

I'm a genderfluid and emo small artist from the Pacific Northwest and I love vampires!

I mostly post Skullgirls content but I'll occasionally throw some other fandoms such as Ramshackle or Creatures of Sonaria in as well! I also happen to be autistic with ADHD (AuDHD). I'll also post oc content but not as often since it doesn't get as much traction as my fandom content.

DNI LIST:

Racists

Proshippers

Homophobes

Transphobes

Ableists (HEAVY ON THIS ONE)

Gatekeepers

Dead dove content (just kinda gives me the ick nothing personal)

Politics/real world issues (I will post donation links for those in need ex: Palestine since I stand with them)

Still trying to learn Tumblr etiquette so bear with me and maybe leave some tips if ya want!

[w2soneshots]

Ibiza -W2S

words: 1.2k+

warnings: alcohol consumption.

summary: you spend the day on a yacht while your boyfriend and his mates film hide & seek. You deal with his mean drunkenness. Then when you get back to the villa you take care of him.

notes: this is based off of this request!! I think drunk Harry’s hilarious😭. Don’t forget to reblog! Enjoy this extra lone one💓✨

Liked by gkbarry_, ksi and 561,308 others

y/username: Ibiza 2024!🌴🍹🌺☀️💘

Tagged: @wroetoshaw @behzingagram @faithloisak @taliamar @freyanightingale

-comments-

wroetoshaw: 🔥🔥

faithloisak: you cutie

taliamar: stunning girl🫶🏼

y/nfanpage21: pahaha the second pic😭

user31096420: another iconic sidemen holiday

user91837410: she's so fit

A few days ago we arrived in Ibiza. It was initially just going to be the boys because they were planning a few sidemen videos. But they decided that there hasn't been a proper holiday with everyone for years since, Ethan and Faith had Olive, Me and Harry got married, as well as Simon and Talia so we cleared our schedules and booked tickets.

We're here for a week and plan on doing as much relaxing as we can but the boys still need to film their videos. Today they're filming a hide and seek on a huge yacht. We're all staying in a massive villa that's really close to the sea line. "Morning." Harry yawned. My sleepy face curved into a content smile. "Good morning." I whispered before kissing his soft lips. Harry wrapped his arms around my torso. "Do we have to get up?" He dug his head into my neck. "Yes Haz. The boats booked for eleven." I replied. He groaned.

Eventually I got him up and we began getting ready. I pulled on a bikini that wouldn't give me offensive tan lines, since I'm planning on laying in the sun all day. Then popped on a cute cover up. Once I'd sorted my hair and covered myself in suncream I headed downstairs where everyone was sat eating breakfast. I said "good morning." then grabbed a plate of fresh fruit along with a smoothie.

After breakfast we all collected the last of our things then just as the taxis pulled up we left. Harry helped Ethan get Olives stuff into the boot while I carried the baby for Faith while she clipped in the car seat. It's only a ten minute drive so we were soon being dropped off at the dock. The day before yesterday we spent a few hours on a smaller boat but today (since they're filming a video) the yacht is massive. The crew also flew in yesterday to film this video so they met us here.

We were told not to grab our things from the taxis because the staff on board would get it for us. When we got onto the yacht we were immediately given drinks and a quick toor. The woman brought us up some stairs. "And these are the tanning loungers." Me and the girls looked at each other with a smile. "This is where I'm going to be spending the rest of the day." Talia joked, but she was being fully serious and I felt exactly the same.

The boys wondered off to film the intro for the video and all four of us girls lay down on a lounger, while Olive slept next to Faith in a little travel cot under one of the large umbrellas. I chatted quietly with Talia, Freya started reading her book and Faith soaked up the sun. We could hear the boys screaming, shouting and laughing as they filmed. Vik was the seeker and wasn't doing the best job which was obvious from what we could see from the top deck, but I'm sure that will make the video even funnier.

Once Harry, Ethan and Josh had been found we caught them peering up at us quite a few times. "You all look like creeps you know!" I shouted. The girls laughed from beside me and the boys faces turned a bright shade of red. "You just look too good in that bikini babe!" Harry shouted back sarcastically. I smirked with a shake of my head. Then returned to tanning.

After almost three hours the boys finally finished filming so we had some lunch. As the day went on we jumped into the sea, played mafia and just sat around enjoying each other's company. Everyone began actually drinking as it started to get later. Accept me, Faith, JJ and Tobi because I had had like one or two but really couldn't be arsed with a hangover, Faith needed to look after Olive and JJ and Tobi don't drink.

y/username just posted a new story!

I sat next to Harry as he swayed back and forth slightly. "You alright?" I asked. He was clearly very drunk. "What? Oh. Shut up I'm fine." He replied. I raised my eyebrows in disbelief. I looked around the group, all eyes on us. I burst into a fit of laughter. "Alright big man I think it's time you get to bed." I tried to help him stand. "No!" He shouted. I sighed tiredly. "Here. I'll help." Tobi got up from his seat. We decided to all call it a night so left the ship and got taxi's back to the villa.

"Here you go mate." JJ murmured as him and Tobi lay an almost asleep Harry on our bed. "Thanks boys." I smiled as they walked out with a quick "good night." I pulled Harry's clothes off, leaving him in just his boxers. Then I placed a glass of water on his nightstand, along with some paracetamol for his hangover. Thankfully Harry usually isn't physically sick when he has a hangover so there was no need for a bucket. After I took a quick shower I slipped into bed, next to him.

The next morning I got up decently early to make everyone breakfast. Faith was already downstairs since Olive had been awake for quite awhile and she didn't want to wake Ethan up since he was hungover and he woke up early yesterday for Olive. "Good morning you cutie." I greeted Olive in my high pitched baby voice, that seems to just appear whenever I'm around animals or babies. She giggled with the sweetest little smile.

"Morning." Faith also smiled as I sat down next to her on the couch. "So last night Harry seemed to be a little..." "mean." I finished her sentence. "Well yea." She breathed out a laugh. "He's a mean drunk. It really doesn't bother me to be honest. I find it hilarious." I chuckled. "I'm glad, I was a little concerned." "The first time we went out together it was a bit of a shock to the system but over the years I realised that it's just how he reacts to alcohol."

After a good chat with Faith I headed back upstairs to check on Harry. I slowly opened to door to see Harry front down on the bed with his face turned towards the door. I walked towards him and squatted in front of him. "Harry." I whispered as my hand gently stroked his face. He groaned. "Have some paracetamol love." I grabbed the pack from the nightstand. "My head hurts." He slowly opened one of his eyes. I smiled at him "I know. Sit up for me."

He pushed himself up and turned over so he was sitting against the headboard. He took the tablet along with almost the entire glass of water. "Was I mean?" He asked quietly. I laughed "Uhm... I've had much worse." He groaned as he covered his face with his hands. "Sorry." He mumbled. "Don't be. You were completely gone with the fairies." I said sarcastically. He chuckled but then winced, probably from the pounding headache. "Go back to sleep. I'll have breakfast downstairs when you're ready." I quickly pecked his forehead. "You're too good to me." He replied as he returned to his previous position.

[xxellagxx]

Q&A with Colby brock

A little intro to my page : Hi I’m Ella and this is my first fic so apologies if it’s bad . REQUESTS ARE OPEN!!! Any feedback is appreciated .

Description: you and Colby are dating and decide to do the ‘saying yes for 24hr challenge” but you wasn’t prepared for the crazy things he was going to ask

Word count: 469

Warning’s : cursing , dirty comments but no actual smut , think that’s it.

You finally hit 3 million on YouTube ; mainly being famous for your lifestyle and vlogs you posted , along side the occasional prank (which was nearly almost aimed at Colby and your other roommates.) To celebrate this massive milestone you decided to film the video all your fans who where begging you to film a Q&A with your boyfriend Colby . You two have been dating for a long time now so you have filmed q&a videos before but not for a long while now. So when’s a better time to do it , you and Colbys the best you have ever been and the fans where literally begging you

You set up the camera , positioning it to fit both you and Colby in the frame . Once it was all set up you pressed the record button and sat back in your seat , leaning into Colby with a wide smile on your face. “Hey guys!” You beamed “today we are doing the highly requested Q&A! So I asked you all on twitter to send us questions and my manager picked out some of the best ones for us to answer” You looked over at Colby “You ready?” You smile and Colby responds with a nervous laugh “sure” The camera cuts to you holding your phone getting ready to hear the first question

“Okay this one is from Alyssa. When did you guys have your first kiss , can you describe it ?”

Your cheeks turned a rosy red as you thought about your first kiss , you turned around to Colby only to see him blushing as well . He began to talk “ our first kiss was actually in highschool” you both laughed, remembering the day . He continued “And umm we was all playing spin the bottle and it was..like really awkward. I mean you was like my what 3rd kiss ever” you nodded in agreement “yeah we didn’t have a lot of experience then.”

“But our first proper kiss was at a Halloween party” Colby said smiling at the camera “ I had a massive crush on you at the time y/n and you was wearing a ..REALLY hot vampire costume” you both chucked “and we started making jokes and flirting and I looked into your eyes and knew at that moment that I loved you . So I made my shot and headed into a kiss .. an amazing kiss” you both sat in a comfortable silence , looking at each other with smiles on your faces . You placed a small kiss on colbys cheek and read the next question

You both answered few more questions , some being funny and others being a bit personal . After the final question was answered you filmed your outro and stopped filming .

[scrumptiouskoalahottub]

🔞Platform Roulette | George Clarke

[Arthur has invited you to join in platform roulette after asking him for months, you've been living in London for around 4 months now and share a flat with George & Arthur so it made sense for you to tag along at some point, although the night doesn't end the way you planned it to end]

You arrive at King's Cross at 8am, you George and Arthur waiting on Arthur tv as usual as you're waiting you open your phone out to take a picture for instagram to show to your followers you go places other than your flat and the gym, you caption the photo with "platform roulette shenanigans 😛" and add it to your story, the boys fans base know you live with them so it was only a matter of time before you popped up in a video. Finally Arthur turns up in a hurry as usual as you film the intro for the first part of the video

"Hey guys and welcome back to another episode of platform roulette, today we're joined by someone else aswell as Arthur tv, she's been yet to make an appearance despite the nagging of her asking, it's y/n" he points towards you as you stand there and wave "hi guys and for the record I haven't nagger I asked once, Arthur just wants people to think everyone wants in on the game" you laugh and nudge him as George and Arthur tv laugh in unison "in that case why don't you pick the platform for todays adventure then any between 1-16" He looks towards you "erm, 4, my lucky number" you smile, he looks to the board to see what you've picked out "looks like we're off to Edinburgh" he turns back to the camera "right let's go get our tickets and a train bev" you all make your way over to the WHSmith to grab a drink, it's a 4hr journey so you decide to opt for 2 bottles of wine. "Jesus you're gonna be drunk before we get there" George laughs at you "unfortunately Mr Clarke I'm not a lightweight like you boys" you shoot him a wink as you pay for your wine, the boys opt for Cans of madri for the trip.

You get seated on the train and realise you've bought wine with no cups, "right guys I don't want no judgment here" everyone looks at you as you say this "but I'm afraid I'm gonna have to neck it out the bottle, I don't have a cup" you look at them as you let out a giggle, Arthur shakes his head as he looks at you "this is why you've never been allowed on before" he laughs as you pop open the bottle of wine. You manage to finish the last drop of your second bottle just as you pull into Edinburgh, the boys said you were going out into the town so you opted for casual wear, flared jeans, a corset top and one of George's flannel shirts you borrowed off him. Arthur starts to film again as he explains the rules and you head to rhetorical first pub, Arthur goes to the toilet so you all decide to sneak a quick "secret shot" in, you George and Arthur tv shot a sambuca as you wait for your drinks order, shortly after you all sit down Arthur reappears "just to let you know, you owe us all £50" you chuckle "how do you work that one out" Arthur looks confused "because we've all just done a secret shot at the bar" Arthur looks at the cameraman in shock as you've literally been at the pub 5 minutes and George and Arthur wouldn't of done this off their own backs "you're never coming again" he laughs as he takes his Guinness.

"Split the G?" You challenge him, although you've never drank Guinness in your life let alone know how to properly split the G. "You're on, but don't cry if you lose" he looks up at you with menace in his eyes "same goes for you" you retort. You both start to sip as you plant the glasses down at the same time, the camera man pans the camera to the glasses and pure shock stretches across his face "no way" he says as he looks at Arthur, George and Arthur tv rise out of their seats to see not only has Arthur missed the split line, you've managed to perfectly split the G on your first attempt.

"She's had your pants down mate good and proper" George laughs as his head jolts back, Arthur looks at you with an open jaw "you're never coming on this again, I'm off home" he buries his head in his hands as George and Arthur cheer you on, you catch George's hand slightly graze your thigh as they do so, was that an accident?

After plodding around the streets of Edinburgh you're all slightly tipsy and head the the last pub the score markers at the end show

[George: 11|Hill: 10| Y/N: 12|Tv: 12]

You sit down at the final pub and you decide to opt for a fishbowl cocktail for you all to share, Hill and tv make their way to the dance floor as you and George hang back for a second, your feet start to ache a little. "Have you enjoyed today?" George asks scooching closer "yeah I have, it's a lot of fun but I doubt he'd want me to do it again after showing him up" you laugh "honestly you being here has made the day better, there's something about you that lights up the room and it's nice to see, it's nice to see you have fun" George smiles at you "thanks George, I appreciate that" you lean in to give him a hug, you both pull away and just start at eachother for a hot second, "you look gorgeous by the way" he says "George you're drunk and you don't mean that" you say as you pull away and take a sip of the cocktail, he says nothing in return as you make your way over to the dance floor to join the boys

"Everything okay?" Tv asks "yeah I'm good, now show me some good dance moves" you giggle as you all dance, you turn to George who's buried in his phone, "George!" You shout, he looks up and ignores you, your eyebrows furrow as you walk over to him "ignoring me are we?" You laugh "I did mean what I said" he retorts "I've felt like this for a while, I just couldn't muster up the courage to tell you" you make your way over to sit with him again, you were left speechless. You wouldn't know how you'd be able to acknowledge George's feelings without it causing a stir in the friendship group "I'm not sure how we'd go about this if it was something serious George" you grab one of his hands and look at him with soft eyes "I like you too, but the friendship sort of made me step back" just then Tv and hill walk over and you slip your hand away from George's "you okay mate?" Hill asks, "yeah he's just feeling it abit now, he's a lightweight" you chuckle trying to hide the conversation you've just had "well out trains nearly due so why don't we head out?" Hill says, you all finish the last drops of the fishbowl and make your way to the station, George stumbling slightly so you interlink your arm with his "I'm definitely not coming again if I'm the one who has to babysit" you look at them all, letting a playful scoff "hey! I don't need babysitting!" George protests as you approach your train.

You sit down and hand everyone a bottle of water you stashed in your bag, "don't say I don't look after you all" you smile as you take a bobble out of your bag and tie your hair up, hill walks to the bathroom as tv is fast asleep, George plants his hand on your thigh sending shivers up your back, you turn to him, "if you're not too tired we can sort this out at home" you look at him with fire in your eyes, his eyes widen at your words "really?" He says "mmhm" you nod as Hill returns to his seat

You arrive back into King's Cross as you wake TV up from his sleep, you all stumble off the train and Hill opts to get tv back to his flat as you offer to take George back to his, awaiting Arthur's return. You get into the Uber and make your way to the flat, you exchange no words throughout the journey. The silence kills you as you open the door to the flat and toss your keys on the counter, "so where were we-" you turn as your words are interrupted by George smashing a kiss onto your lips, your move with his motions as sparks fly between you, you both manoeuvre your way to George's bedroom, still locked in by the passionate kiss. You decide to take control and spin him around, pushing him onto his bed, you look at him with menace as you unbutton your jeans leaving no time for conversation, you straddle him, planting your ass on the outline of his shaft, you flick your hair to the side as you slip your corset top off leaving nothing but a thong on your body, George places his hands on either side of your hips "fuck you're so gorgeous" his breath hitches as he says this, seeing you in a new light. You lean down to his level and relock your lips in a fiery kiss, tension rising between you both

You slowly slip your fingers into the seam of his joggers still straddling him, looking at him for permission to remove them, you lift yourself up onto your knees as George slides his joggers and boxers down, revealing his hard shaft beneath you, conscious of time you slowly tease George by grinding yourself on top of him before sliding him inside yourself, you let out a small gasp as you adjust to his length, letting out a slight whimper "fuck you're so big" you exclaim as you begin to ride him, you dig your nails into his chest as he grips your hips, assisting you "you're so tight" he looks at you with desire as he bites his lip

George decides to take action as he flips you onto your back, asserting his dominance. He teases your entrance, repaying the suspension you caused for him before slipping his tip inside you, your breath hitches as you cup one of your tits, "how bad do you want me?" He exclaims sending a slight smirk across his face "I want you to do everything possible to me George" his expression lights up at the thought of no boundaries, he locks his hand around your neck as he places a thumb on your pussy making figure 8 motions, your head jolts back in pleasure "fuck" you let out, George then starts thrusting into you, still playing with you sending your body into overdrive, his grip becomes more tightening round your neck, leaving small air to make its way in, your eyes start to water from the pain.

You feel yourself becoming close but didn't want it to end just yet "bend me over your desk George" you look up at him with doe eyes, you smirk at him "holy fuck you're insane" he pants as you walk over to his desk he uses for filming, you lay yourself on the corner of it as you signal for George to include the ponytail you recently tied up "fuck me with my hair wrapped around your hand" making george lost for words, he wraps your pony around his hand and grips it hard, you dig your nails into the desk as he takes a hold on your ass, he slowly teases you once again before thrusting into you one last time, your mind goes into over drive at all the feelings you're experiencing, you feel your legs turn into jelly as you're close to climax "fuck George I'm so close" you scream out, he picks up the pace as his grip on your hair slips, taking both hands on the top of your ass to gain control, you whimper as your legs fall from underneath you and you reach your limit "oh fuck George" you climax as George still continues to thrust into you, nearly reaching his limit "oh fuck y/n" he mutters as he climaxes also, both out of breath you emerge from his desk all sweaty

"Fuck that was amazing" George says out of breath, "yeah you could say that" you laugh as you quickly collect your clothes and run to your room to get changed into something quick before Arthur comes back George does the same, you wander back into George's room and plant a kiss on his lips.

"Maybe we could develop on this?" You say with a smile

"I definitely want to" he says rubbing your check

Just then the door handle clicks and Arthur's home.

-

🫶🏻

[angelwishess]

TWST FANKIDS!! ^^

(Lazy doodles so i can finally stop thinking abt them and work on my comic HWHEHE)

The next gen of Leech Twins , and theyre probably worse than the last ones …

Rambling under the cut!!

Evelio and Marven are pretty much NRC’s biggest nightmare. Kyra and Floyd were both already giant headaches— but then they go and decide to give them more little troublemakers to take care of.

Growing up with parents as chaotic as Floyd and Kyra obviously leads to them being just as, if not, even MORE chaotic than them, somehow.

Marven doesn’t even comply to the uniform, instead choosing to wear his own clothes. The only thing that could be considered his “uniform” would be his tie and his dorm ribbon, but even then he barely wears his dorm symbol.

Evelio, on the other hand, is much more similar to his mother when it comes to coming off as much more mature and graceful at first. But the truth is, hes the one scheming up all of their plans.

They both have trouble burning hot on their heels, doing and saying whatever they please and whatever they desire— their ideal of “freedom” being a strong influence to them as people, because of their mother.

𐙚 fun-facts !

Marven and Evelio are upset they aren’t identical twins. When they were younger, they used to want to do that “creepy twin” routine where they talk at the same time and do the same things to scare people. They even tried to make themselves look more alike before lol

^^ They do this anyways. And they still do once theyre at NRC.

Marven is a fashion freak … Alot of his clothes were personally made by his mama :33 Hes a MAMAS BOY!!!!!

Both Evelio and Marven’s names mean “wish” or “desired for” !!

Loosely based on tweedle dee and tweedle dum HAHAHA, they have the same vibe and mannerisms

I should prolly make a proper intro for them someday, but today is not that day YWHEGHEE

Tagging !! : @twtysevapr @gimmeurmoneyagh @justm3di0cr3

[shiibaroll]

STRINGLESS CHARACTER REFS BABYYY

I've had these saved up for a WHILE but i felt like they needed text for social media, so i whipped something up quickly last night to post today, im so happy to finally have some decent character refs that arent just for me and Rope

So now you get a proper intro to all of them :3

Also posting an old but more interesting raster ref that i made before i decided to make all of the refs uniform for development reasons

[littlemisskookie]

Crocodile Tears: Intro

Crocodile Tears: Index Ship: Stoner!Reader | Stoner!BTS Description: You accidentally eat brownies with aphrodisiacs in them. Even worse one of your asshole friends catch you reading smut to cope, and decides to airdrop your collection of your dirtiest fantasies to the rest of the house. Just your luck. Warnings: Dub-Con, Degradation, Humiliation, Dom!BTS, Sub!Reader, Weed (sorry it’s what helps get me in the mood to write these), Dirty Talk, Kink Shaming?, mentions of the reader being into kind of dark/taboo kinks, Jimin is incredibly mean for no reason, Reader is ridiculously horny and is good at weed Word Count: 2,397 A/N: This has now been edited and finalized which means I can get started on the first segment!

You coughed, smoke erupting from between your lips. You feel Jungkook's large hand offering a comforting (arousing) pat on your back, rubbing gently to comfort you out of your coughing fit.  Damn, why'd you have to get horny when you were smoking weed? It didn't help that you were surrounded by perhaps the hottest guys on campus. Who would've thought that befriending fellow stoner, Hoseok, over a blunt in a party would lead to introducing you to his other stoner friends? Before you knew it, you guys would hang out regularly, bonding over a bong.

Today wasn't supposed to be any different from those days. You had smoked with these seven plenty of times before. Most of the time it was in Yoongi's studio apartment, practically hot boxing the small space. 

Today though you guys were lucky.  Namjoon's rich parents were going to be gone on a cruise for two weeks. You guys could smoke carefree in a nice ass mansion and not have to worry about the smell, as Namjoon assured you the maids would take care of it. (They much preferred Namjoon to his parents despite the weed smell assistances, probably because he's so charming. You didn't blame them. Namjoon had that old money charm, the type that would make you not hesitate to do whatever he asked.)

You guys brought bongs, edible gummies, baked goods, weed, pipes, snacks, water bottles, pens and carts- anything a proper stoner hangout would need.

Part of the reason the guys adored you so much was because you had the highest tolerance of any girl they ever met, which was very contradictory to first glance. You could outsmoke any man you met, and could brag you had never greened out despite the amount of weed you'd smoke once challenged. You could simply keep going, you were a beast, this was your talent. You were proud to say you had outsmoked each and every man in this room, earning their respect and the privilege of joining their smoking group. You weren't going to argue. You've never gotten so much free weed and attention from hot guys in your life.  You were used to the attention it would bring you now for the most part. Cute girl who smokes weed? It's stoner boy kryptonite, basically your super power. 

Except against one. There was one guy that definitely wasn't the most respectful to you, treating you like he barely even liked you, but for some reason you didn't find yourself minding. You don't think you'd mind it from any of these guys, but as it was, your stoner powers gave you a leg up on these guys. Most of them wouldn't dare think about disrespecting a deity like you.

That didn't mean you didn't have your moments of coughing, though. Usually you were better and holding it down nowadays, but it was a bigger hit than you were anticipating. 

Jungkook pulled the bong back, face in front of yours to examine your expression. "You ok?" he asked. You look up at him, eyes locking. He's got that hooded eyes, hazy look in the eye that looked so similar to "fuck me" eyes. You didn't want to assume, though. Too many times guys told you it looked like you were giving them fuck me eyes when in reality out were simply stoned. 

"I'm good," you assured, trying not to think about how good his lip ring looked. Shit, you were probably staring at it right now. You quickly turn away, feeling flushed, reaching for the plate of brownies you had pulled from the kitchen. "God, I'm having insane cravings right now, though!"

"Wait, Y/N, where'd you get those brownies?" Jin inquired, squinting down at your plate. 

"In the kitchen. Namjoon said I could help myself to whatever food's there." You paused after scarfing down another bite. "Oh no, do these have more weed in them? I mean I think I'll be fine, but shit."

Jin's mouth dropped open. "Uh, no... not weed."

Your brows furrowed as you stared back at him. "What is it, then? Did you put fentanyl in brownies, Jin?!"

"God, no! Not fentanyl... aphrodisiacs," Jin sheepishly admitted.

"What the fuck, man, why'd you bring sex brownies to the party?" Yoongi laughed. "Trying to start an orgy or something?"

"No! Me and Y/N were just joking about it last time we hung out and were talking about those chocolates on tik tok that make you horny. She was like what if we all took one and saw what happened? I decided to make some myself and brought them. I didn't know Y/N was going to end up eating half of them herself!" Jin explained hurriedly, eyes glancing to you quickly for help. 

"So you were trying to start an orgy!" Yoongi accused. 

You bursted out laughing. "Well, that explains a lot. At least I can't overdose on aphrodisiacs. Teaches me not to let my munchies get the best of me." You turn to Jungkook, biting your lip at the sight of him. These sex brownies were really doing something to you. You're all giggly, though, from the weed. "Munch. Munchies. Do you think munches get munchies?"

"Y/N definitely seems high enough," Namjoon laughs. "Sorry you're just going to be stuck with the brownies... effects. You sure you'll be ok?"

You wave your hand dismissively. "I'll be fineeee. I'm basically horny most of the time anyways, this will be no different."

"TMI," Hoseok jokes, rolling his eyes.

You were fine.

For all of, like, ten minutes.

Once an hour had passed, you were practically wanting to jump out of your skin. You found your mind wandering off, you were biting your lips far more often than usual, your eyes weren't just blazed stupor, but full on fuck me eyes. You found yourself staring intently at your guy friends. Jimin's thick lips wrapping around a blunt, letting smoke pour out. The way he was staring back at you, almost suspicious. God, he'd probably be disgusted if we knew what sort of thoughts you were having about him. He always acted a bit disgusted by you. You eyes flitted away to his best friend next to him. Taehyung's hands gripping around the bong, elegant fingers wrapping around it, veins tracing along the middle. You wondered if he'd choke you if you asked. Wait stop. You try to keep your high mind from wandering off to dirty places and focus on what's in front of you. Jungkook's tattooed fingers as he rolled up a joint for you, doing so with such delicacy and precision. He was so careful, and was definitely the best at rolling. You sucked at it, and were grateful that Jungkook's attentive personality made him volunteer to be your personal roller. Without thinking, you bring your fingers up to your mouth, chewing on your thumbnail as you stare at Jungkook with a certain intensity.

It was Taehyung who spoke to you first.  "Y/N, you good? You looking kinda zoned out, there." 

You snapped out of it, hand flying away from your mouth. "Huh? Oh, sorry, I was just thinking."

"Your joint's done," Jungkook said, tatted hand offering it up to you.

"Thank you, Kookie," you grin, tussling his hair in front of you. Fuck, you wanted to grip it while his head was between your legs. You reach back, clearing your throat. "It's kind of hot in here, actually. I think I'll go to the balcony."

You hope they don't read too much into your need of absence, but who were you kidding. You were obvious. 

You leaned against the railing of the balcony, enjoying the fresh air. You lit up the joint and inhale the smoke, opening your phone to distract yourself. With smut. Hey, horny brain has a one track mind? You pull up your fanfiction recommendation blog, mainly used to store your favorites and save for later, for times like these. You scroll past the stories, each depraved tag and recollection of the smut's materials not seeming like enough. 

You clicked on the third story, entrenched in the words as you try to imagine the scene before you. The weed made your mind hazy. You didn't know how much time you had spent out here reading porn. The joint was already halfway finished.

You didn’t even notice the balcony door being open and shut behind you, finding yourself too engrossed in the words on your screen. Perhaps if you were sober, you’d have felt his presence behind you, eyes peering over your shoulder.

"What's sex pollen?"

You practically jumped out of your skin, squealing at the feeling of hot air against your ear. You spun around, lower back soon pressed against the railing as your space was invaded, to see Jimin, his red tinged eyes meeting yours. The one man here not impressed with your surprisingly high tolerance. Maybe because he of all people knew about deceiving appearances. He leaned in closer, far closer to you than he had ever been in the time you’ve spent with him and his friends. His chest was a mere few inches in front of yours, hands clasped against the railing beside yours, trapping you. The aphrodisiacs weren’t helping you, and you were feeling a certain type of way about having a handsome man so close to you.

"Jimin! What're you doing here?" Your heart pounded erratically in your chest, the anxiety overwhelming you at being caught.

"You've been out here for a while, the guys were getting worried about you," Jimin explained. A devious smirk formed on his lips. "Guess I should explain to them you're fine, just out here basically reading porn."

"I-I'm not-"

"Oh? What's sex pollen, then?" Jimin grabbed your phone, your reflexes too slow to stop him. He wore a shit eating grin as he watched your eyes flit between your phone and his face, unable to even process the beginning of your defeat. You were completely defenseless and stunned, not sure how to understand how he had beaten you so swiftly, or why he was particularly smug about it. You don't think he's ever smiled at you before, whether out of kindness or humor. This smile lacked both. This was a grin of enjoyment at the sight of you fussing and at his mercy. "Explain, Y/N."

You gulped. "I-It's just this like… trope.”

“Trope?” His thumb slides up the screen, the sentences scrolling by. “Seems pretty scandalous compared to your typical romance tropes. I don’t think I’ve heard of this one, before.”

“It’s more of a fanfiction trope than an actual literature trope…” 

“Oh? How’s it work, then? What’s so appealing about it?” Jimin’s amused expression was in stark juxtaposition to your flushed, embarrassed one.

“U-Um… it’s w-when the person gets affected by this pollen or something in general that makes them all... needy. And they need someone to take care of it for them."

“Take care of it how?”

You huffed, irritated with his teasing. “What do you think? You already know. It’s called sex pollen for a reason, quit teasing me.”

"Oh?" Jimin quirked up a brow, obviously pleased with your embarrassment and stammering. His hand came up to your throat, and there was a hitch in your breath. "But it’s so fun.”

“No it’s n-not-“ It was hard to keep your sentences structured well as Jimin tilted your head back, hand sliding further up to your jaw, making you lean back. Adrenaline pumped through you has your anxieties increased, all to aware of you dangling halfway off the railing at this height. 

“This trope of yours sounds very familiar. Taking aphrodisiacs, familiar.” His chuckle was taunting in your ear, his soft breath noticeable in the night air. “Hoping for something to happen, Y/N?”

"No, I-"

"Did you do it on purpose, sweetheart? Wanted one of us to take care of you? Put you out of your mercy and fuck you cause you need it so badly?" 

You gasped at his words, his hand gripping  your jaw, forcing you to look at him. Your back was still arched against the railing, and both of your hands clasped around Jimin's arm for support, afraid of both falling back and falling into him. His muscles felt so firm underneath your fingertips , and you tried not to think about how much you had missed the feeling of digits on your throat. Jimin's eyes flit over to your screen, going back to scroll through the stories you saved. He could probably feel your heartbeat against his fingerprints quicken as he delved deeper into your trove of dark and twisted fantasies. "Fuck, this is some really nasty shit, Y/N. You're into some depraved shit. Alpha/Omega? CNC? Step-siblings? Always knew you were a pervert. Bet you've thought about us gang banging you before, huh?"

His canines gleam in the dim light, taunting you. Your wide eyes met his with terror, and you whimpered in his hold.

"Fuck, Jimin, please please please don't tell them-" you pleaded.

"But how can I keep this to myself?" In horror, you watched his devious fingers tap against your phone screen, airdropping your blog of fanfiction collections to the rest of the house. He let you go, allowing you to catch your breath as he backed away from you. Fishing out his own phone, he accepted the request. He waved your own screen in front of your face, taunting you with your own powerlessness. You grab it from him, staring in horror as you see that three people accepted the airdrop. Fuck. It wasn't like you could even pretend it wasn't you, your name was attatched. The worst part is you didn't even know who accepted it, the names only being "iPhone".

You stared up at Jimin in horror, only to see his sadistic grin as he scrolls through your personal porn stash. "Don't worry, I'll make all your dirty fantasies come true," Jimin chuckled. "I’ll be a bit busy for now, though. Have to catch up on some light reading. Besides,” he turned towards the door, looking back to you with devious excitement. “You’re a big girl, I’ll let you take care of this by yourself.”

He left you alone on that balcony, gawking and trembling, wondering just what would happen if you were to step back in that house.

[viperrot]

⇁slasher season | leon kennedy | intro

re4 remake ghostface!leon s. kennedy x fem!reader NSFW 18+

MINORS DNI: BEWARE OF THE CONTENT YOU CONSUME.

you've always been in love with horror media growing up, especially slasher films. your boyfriend suggests to indulge in your dark fantasies after learning about your liking towards the classic ghostface.

series content warnings: porn with little plot, cnc/dubcon, depictions of chase, stalking, knifeplay, size difference, and possibly more to be added

content contains: GRAPHIC DESCRIPTION OF MURDER (ghostface in the movie doing ghostface things), oral (f!receiving), reader has fem!anatomy and uses fem!pronouns, size difference (leon is supposedly taller and beefier than reader), use of petnames (bunny, bug), no p in v, leon eats pussy like a champ!, praise and degradation

not proofread i am eepy

3719 words

song rec: "porno witch" by devil's witches (PLEASE LISTEN I LOVE THIS SONG UHHUGGHHU)

the introduction to my new self-indulgent collection of ghostface leon! no ghostface!leon here, but in the next one? ohohoho… be prepared, little doves.

enjoy below the cut~

Swaddled up in a soft blanket dyed to look like the Mystery Machine from Scooby-Doo, you patiently waited for your boyfriend to arrive home from work. You sat on the floor below your couch, surrounded by pillows you had taken from your bedroom in effort to get comfortable.

Tonight was movie night, and it was your week to pick the movie. With the summer season in full swing, you had finally decided it was “Slasher Season”—a time of the year you made up when you were in high school as an excuse to watch shitty horror films on your mom’s VHS player. Slasher Season, for you, was from July and all the way into Christmas—the typical settings of many slasher films. From summer camp scenarios, halloween killing sprees, and organs for Christmas presents, you thought it was a proper time period to call the Slasher Season.

As you scrolled through your phone, mindlessly looking through cringe social media, a ping! sound vibrates the small device. Your put your attention on the notification banner at the top of the screen, smiling softly when you see a message from your sweetheart.

Lee💕» Almost there. Make me some hot chocolate?

At the mentioning of the sweet treat, you checked the electric kettle that was resting on the kitchen counter and squinted at it.

« Too farrrr you do it urself!!

You respond, feeling lazy.

Lee💕» You’re goofy. See you soon, bug

Your heart raced knowing Leon was only a few blocks away at this point. He often walks place-to-place to make up for his lack of gym consistency as a result of college taking up most of his time, and his dorm isn’t very far from your apartment. As you waited for Leon, you got up from your comfortable spot on the floor to turn on the kettle before searching for the remote to the TV, finding it wedged between the couch cushions.

Sitting back down in your pillow moat, you quickly search for one of your favourite slashers on a random streaming service—Scream, 1996. The infamous Ghostface mask stared back at you as you clicked around for the “play” button, starting the movie and immediately pausing it to continue when your lover arrives.

The door to your quaint apartment clicks, the sound of a door knob rattling catching your attention. It pushes open to reveal Leon, sporting a black t-shirt and some blue jeans. He crouches down to slip off his beat-up Converse, tucking them against the wall before fully entering the house and closing the door behind him. He pushes his hair back as he looks at you with a boyish grin, a faint blush dusting the bridge of his nose as his pupils widen at the sight of you.

“Hey, bug,” Leon beams. He takes a look at the kitchen and notices the electric kettle boiling on the counter.

“Hi, Lee,” you chuckle softly. “I thought you changed at your dorm?” you motioned towards his jeans from your spot on the floor. His attention turns down to his attire.

“Figured I could shower and then just wear the sweats I keep here. Plus, I didn’t want to walk in pants like that,” Leon shrugs, walking towards the short hallway that led to your bedroom. You hum and go back to your phone while your blondie changes out of his tight jeans. The six-foot tall hunk walked into the living room and nudged you with his sock-clad foot, asking you to scoot forward. You did so, allowing him to squeeze behind you and set you into his lap.

"Was it busy today?" you peer up at him, your eyes unable to focus on his chin and his eyes at the same time. You felt Leon's right arm leave your waist to pick up the remote on the coffee table, pressing the "play" button to begin the movie. He tugs up the Scooby-Doo themed blanket to cover the both of you before answering your question.

"Like always. Luckily, no one pushed me into the pool today," Leon chuckled. He works as a swim instructor during the summer for little kids at the local pool, and the children would often play with him and push him into the body of water. The image of a dozen little ones running around him like vultures made you giggle.

"That's kinda lame," you joke. Leon squeezes your side gently, taking a nibble at the shell of your ear as a silent jab at your comment.

"Do you want hot chocolate, bug?" Leon asks lowly. You shake your head as a no, focusing your attention to the movie.

Drew Barrymore as Casey Becker picked up the white landline phone, responding to the fake voice speaking to her with a cheeky grin on her face. You felt your thighs squeeze at the sound of Ghostface on the other end of the line, silently wishing you were Casey Becker. If Leon noticed, he made no effort to say anything. As the scene plays out, you feel your lover's chest hum softly.

"What is this...?" he questions quietly. Your eyebrows knit together at this.

"You don't know what we're watching...?!" you gape up at him, your head looking over your shoulder. He gives you a look of pure confusion.

"Not really, no. Am I supposed to know?" Leon laughs nervously, a brow quirked up.

"If you're dating me, yes! Yes, you're supposed to know!" You yelp out, distraught by your lover's confession. He flashes a stupid smile, seemingly unbothered by your behaviour, his lightly calloused fingers tickling beneath the baggy jumper you wore that totally wasn't his to tease at the skin of your waist.

"Then why don't you help me out and tell me what in the world we're watching, bunny?" Leon circles his thumb just above your v-line, rubbing softly as he nuzzles his chin onto your shoulder.

"It's only like... one of the best slasher films of all time," you mumble under your breath. "Scream by Wes Craven from 1996."

"Mmm... not ringing a bell, bunny," Leon begins to press kisses into the crook of your neck as his eyes focus on the screen in front of you two, confused as to why the platinum blonde chick is losing her mind while running around with the phone in her hands.

Casey Becker screams at the sight of her meathead boyfriend strapped to a chair in front of her family’s pool, guts hanging out of his stomach from a large slit that ran across it. Leon cringed slightly at the sight, not expecting to watch a horror movie tonight.

"What is this..." he squints, still confused.

"Just keep watching," you sigh, childishly upset that Leon didn't know what this movie was.

The scene continued, Casey Becker running around and out of her house with a knife from her burning kitchen. Eventually, she's found by the wicked killer of the movie. He chases her with his blade, digging it into her neck as she cries to her poor parents over the phone. The blood gurgled in her throat as she cried, crawling in the yard of her lavish and isolated home, leaving a trail of her blood in her wake.

As Ghostface brandished his modified hunting knife, you shivered with a sick excitement, unknowing of the sparkle in your eyes as the scene unfolded.

But Leon knew.

As you squirmed in his lap, he grew curious, his lips no longer kissing against your neck. He knew what the two of you were watching now—he had dressed up as that murderous fool for Halloween in his senior year of high school as a joke with some old friends. Leon hadn’t any idea who Ghostface was. He simply knew him because of his friend group that dressed up as other slasher antagonists.

He remembers the compliments he’s get when trick-or-treating with his friends—the girls that’d flirt with him and ask him for a game of cat and mouse with batted eyelashes. Leon feels warm at the memory of spending time with his old group and denying girls a playful chase, but he quickly brushes them away when he feels you grind into his lap a little harder than the other times.

“What’s got you so twitchy, bunny?” Leon whispers into your ear, thumbing at the waistband of your pajama shorts. You jolt at the sensation, a blush running up to your ears.

“Nothing?” You respond, hoping he wouldn't realize the true reason as to why you're so fidgety tonight. The sight of Billy Loomis and Stu Macher made you want to jump with joy, unconsciously biting your bottom lip as they teased their respective girlfriends. Leon hummed, mimicking the kisses Billy would give Sidney in the scene, his lips grazing the lines of your neck.

"I think you're lying to me, bug," Leon chuckles lowly, his lips curling up into a grin against your neck. "I have a serious question for you."

You perk up at this, your full attention in your lover's hands. You can no longer focus on the slasher film playing on the TV as Leon turns you in his lap to face him, his nose grazing against your own as he tilts his head down to look into your eyes.

"Do you get, uh...?" Leon hesitates, his lip twitching as his eyes dart around in search of what to say.

"Do serial killers turn you on?"

Blink.

Blink, blink.

"HAH- why would you think that, Lee?!" you laugh nervously, your heart drumming against your ribcage. The blonde man smirked at the flustered sight of you, knowing good and well you were lying through your teeth.

"Well, you keep squeezing your thighs together, first of all," he notes. "And then you keep squirming around like a caterpillar getting ready to cocoon," his hands tickle your waist, trailing up and up, closer to your chest.

"That doesn't mean anything, Lee. I-I'm just feeling the affects of a thrilling film!" you try to dodge his speculations, eyes averting from his own. Leon presses a soft kiss on the corner of your lips before you felt his right hand trail away from your torso, cupping the heat between your legs.

"If it doesn't mean anything," he leans in, whispering into you ear.

"Why are you soaking through your shorts?"

You shiver when you feel Leon's breath tickle your ear, unknowingly grinding your clothed slit onto the palm of his hand. He chuckles lowly, pulling away from your heat. Your blush worsens, and you whine softly when the contact is lost.

"Be honest with me, bunny. Do you like the idea of being chased? Maybe even... having a little fun with a knife?" Leon coos, bringing his hand back to your waist. You shyly nod, shoving your face into his neck to avoid his soft gaze. His laugh rumbles low in his chest as he holds you close, caressing your skin gently.

“Don’t be embarrassed—It’s kind of cute, really,” Leon assures you. “But I have another question.”

You press your chest against his, and you feel him hug you a little tighter. You hum softly, urging your lover to continue.

“Do you want to try something more… slasher-like?” He asks curiously, and you grow a little confused.

“What do you mean, Lee? Like… do you mean you want to watch more movies, or in be-“

“In bed. Or maybe even out of bed,” Leon smirks. You pull away from the crook of his neck, interested in the proposition.

“Out of bed? How would that work?” You slightly pucker your lips with confusion. Leon traces your bottom lip with his thumb, tugging at it gently as his blue eyes traced the features of your face.

“However you want, bunny. I can send you creepy messages on a cheap burner phone, make you wonder if I’m stalking you every moment of the day, and maybe even, hmm… Get a Ghostface costume…?” Your eyes widen with surprise at his suggestions, and by the look in his eyes, he’s completely serious. You stifle a nervous laugh, unsure of how to even respond.

“Y-y’know, I thought you were a ‘missionary only’ kinda guy,” you half-joked.

It was mostly true, really. The times you’ve had sex with Leon, he was mostly very sweet—he’s just a big tease. He always wanted to look you in the eyes, whisper sweet praises to you as he rolls his hips into yours. You never bothered to ask him for rougher activities, not wanting to come off as weird to your boyfriend of almost a year, so his suggestion of chasing and stalking you was a shocker.

“M’only a ‘missionary only’ guy because I didn’t think you’d be such a lewd and depraved girl,” Leon confesses, smirking down at you. “But now… I know what you really like,” his hand reaches down to the curve of your ass, pinching the plush flesh teasingly between his fingers.

“I-I’m not lewd,” you stammer out, your arousal dripping from your tongue. Leon takes in the sight of you—flushed and small in his lap, your body betraying your words as you began to grind onto the apparent bulge in his sweatpants.

“Stage one is denial, bug~” gently, he pushes you down to the floor, the movie and Mystery Machine blanket that covered you two long forgotten. You make no protest when he begins to tug off your pajama shorts, revealing the cotton panties beneath. Leon’s breath grazes over the white fabric, tickling your most sensitive areas as he smiles up at you from his spot between your thighs.

“So, what do you say, bunny? Do you want to play a game with me?” Leon chuckles darkly, his teeth pulling at gusset of your panties to pull them off. When they’re halfway down your thighs, he ducks to wedge himself in front of it before lowering himself to the slick between your legs, his plump lips immediately getting to work.

His tongue runs up from the bottom of your pussy and up to your sensitive little clit, teasing at the bundle of nerves with a few flicks of his tongue. Leon skims his giant hands over your thighs before squeezing them closer to his head, burying himself into your wet cunt like a man starved.

You moan out his name as you thread your fingers through his soft blonde hair, throwing your head back into the carpet as you feel his warm tongue bully itself into your wet hole.

“Tastes so good, bunny,” Leon groans, the vibrations of his voice against your cunt making your stomach churn. “All f’me, too—god,” he smiles before fucking his tongue back inside, relishing in the way your thighs hugged his head tight.

“L-Leon—“

“That’s right, bunny… Keep moaning like the depraved little slut you are,” your lover chuckled, the devilish tone dripping from his tongue. Leon began to focus on your clit as one of his hands left your thighs, teasing the entrance of your pussy with soft pokes and prods.

“Who would’ve known such a sweet girl like you could be so dirty~” Leon mumbles as he sucks at your sensitive little nub. “You like it when I call you slut, huh? You’re squeezing my head like I’m trying to kill you or somethin’, bunny.”

“Why don’t you beg for my fingers, hm? Let’s hear it, bunny~” the blue-eyed boy pulls himself away from your twitchy little hole, smirking at the sight of how fucked-out you looked despite him barely doing anything. His head presses against your thigh as he forces them apart, placing soft nibbles onto the plump flesh as he awaits your response.

“P-please, Lee…” you pant out, hands reaching out for him desperately as your hips bucked up. Leon remains in his current position, worrying bruises into your inner thigh as if nothing was happening.

“L-Leon, please… need you—“ your voice is shaky as you continue to beg, and that seems to do the trick as you watch your lover return to his spot buried between your legs.

“Perfect…” He smiles, his lips a breath away from your aching cunt. “My perfect little bunny, hm~? Let’s give you want you want now, slut~”

Without warning, Leon thrusts his thick fingers into your slick little hole, scissoring your entrance open as he sucks harshly on your clit. You cry as you feel his teeth graze against the little bud, eyes rolling back as his fingers pump a hair upwards to graze against that special little spot inside of you.

“L-Lee—!” You moan, breath hitching in your throat as you tugged at his hair. Leon makes no plans to stop, continuing his attack onto the most sensitive spots of your body as you squirm and squeeze beneath him. Every time your thighs clenched around him, he couldn’t help but chuckle with delight, relishing in every sensation you gave him.

“Feels so good, isn’t that right, bunny?” Leon coos, smiling coyly at the sight of your arched back and drool-covered lips. “Y’look so pretty like this, bug… Love eating you out.”

Leon digs his fingers deeper inside of you as he goes back to stimulating your clit, his tongue dragging letters onto your slick pussy with expertise. Your hips rock up onto his mouth, your jumper riding up your stomach as you squirmed. Your lover could feel your cunt squeeze with each thrust of his calloused digits.

“Y’gunna cum for me, bunny?” he hums. “Go on. Cum for me, slut. This might be the last time I let you feel this good,” Leon growls.

At his order, you release, your juices making a mess of your lover’s face as your hips twitch forward. Leon sighs with delight, lapping up every drop you give him as if he was never going to have another meal for the rest of his life. Groaning at the taste of you, he pays no attention to the way you lay boneless beneath him.

“Such a good girl for me, bunny~” he moans onto your pussy, obsessed with the flavour of you as his tongue drags itself in and out of your slick hole. Your shivered, trying to push him away from your overstimulated intimates as your eyes rolled back. He doesn’t budge, continuing to fuck you with his greedy tongue.

“Tastes so fuckin’ good… all f’me… all mine~” Leon mumbles between every lick, pussydrunk and loopy. He finally pulls away, your slick making a mess of his jaw and lips. His blue eyes stare down at you with a slight worry.

“You okay, bug?” He whispers, bringing a hand up to caress your cheek. You nod softly, lost for words as a result of your recent orgasm. Leon chuckles at your current state.

“So cute… Let’s get you a bath, n’then we can keep watching Scream in the bedroom, okay?” Leon helps you up to your feet before carrying you bridal-style immediately after. You make no argument, allowing the man to walk you over to the bathroom down the hall.

Apparently, watching Scream and making you scream are two different things, but Leon didn’t really care.

uh. my first public smut i’ve ever written? hope u enjoyed the intro i guess bc this is one of the few times i’m gunna make leon be nice to u in this little collection :,]

comment if you want to be in the taglist, perhaps?

[bobbithewriter]

Miller's Secret

Chapter 1: Cafe Kisses

Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader Rating: 18+ Word Count: 5058 Series summary: [NO OUTBREAK] You don’t know how or why but you find yourself drawn to an older man. His broad shoulders, strong arms, and pepper gray hair drive you wild. But there’s one problem: he’s your professor. Unsure of how to get over this crush you decide to apply for a mentorship… under him. It could all go horribly wrong, or it could be just the thing you both need.  Series warnings: SMUT SMUT SMUT, this is so smutty I’m not even sorry. Very veryyy brief mentions of Y/N (if any). Age gap- reader is in her 20’s while Joel is in his late 40’s/ early 50’s, it’s not specified. Student/Teacher relationship but it’s not what you think. Inappropriate relationships, yearning, tension, sexual tension, sarah doesn’t exist here (sorry girl), secret relationship, cursing. Chapter summary: After crafting the perfect schedule for your last year of college, you find out that one of your classes in your first semester got dropped. Forced to find a replacement, you settle for Intro to Philosophy with Professor Miller. You’re in for a big surprise. Chapter warnings: 18+, Smut, fem!reader, professor!joel miller, sexually explicit thoughts, cursing, age gap, inappropriate thoughts/dreams, oral (f receiving), sexual tension, secret relationship.

A/N: This is the first chapter to what I hope will be an interesting series. It goes without saying that this is all FICTION. enjoy:))

-

The heat is stifling outside, the sunning blazes down, scorching the Earth beneath it. It’s nearing the end of summer and you just can’t believe it’s gone by as fast as it has. Although you’ve spent most of it working, like today, there have been a few moments of relaxation sprinkled in, but not nearly enough for your liking. 

Making your way into your two bedroom apartment, you toss your keys on the coffee table near the door. You kick off your shoes and rush to turn the A.C. on hoping to be rescued from the heat. The apartment is silent, your roommate, Jade, is most likely at work giving you time to decompress from the very tiring shift you’ve just had.

You enter your room and are welcomed by your cat Lulu whose orange fur shines thanks to the sunlight passing through your window. Clothes litter the floor, books and magazines lay scattered on your nightstand and desk, your room is a proper mess, but it’s your mess. You make your way to the rickety wooden desk that sits against the wall closest to your window, pulling the near see-through curtains together in hopes of keeping some of the sun out. 

You open your laptop and look up your school’s student sign in, hoping to review the courses you’ll be taking this semester. Although you’ve grown to love school and love the structure it provides you with, you feel an immense relief knowing that it’s your last year in college. The parties and events are fun but you finally feel ready for more, you’re hoping for something more worthwhile. Lucky for you, your last two semesters are light ones since you’re not taking nearly as many classes as usual- you shudder thinking back to your freshman year when you thought taking seven was a good idea. Last spring, when registering for classes, you crafted the perfect schedule: four classes fall semester, three classes spring semester- easy. 

You scroll down to the bottom of your schedule only to find that one of your classes, an elective, has been dropped. Confused, you grab the notebook from the shelf above your desk and flip through the pages until you find the schedule you outlined back in April. Sure enough you see that your photography class has been dropped due to them not finding a professor for the course. You check your student email and find that you were sent a message back in July notifying you of the change. Frustrated at yourself for forgetting to read your emails, you return to the school’s registration page. Unfortunately, with classes starting next week, you know that the chances of you actually getting a class you’d find interesting are slim to none. You scroll and scroll until you’re able to find a class that fits with the rest of your schedule: philosophy. Great, you think, two hours a week dedicated to listening to some old guy drone on and on about ethics and morals and what the meaning of life is. 

The cursor hovers over the register button. Do you really want to do this? You have two options: you could always take photography next semester with the professor you like, or, you can suck it up and get this elective over with and earn another three credits but be forced to listen to a bunch of existential nonsense. You, for whatever reason, pick the latter. You rationalize with yourself that it’s only one class and it’s just one step closer to graduating. You decide to mull over the syllabus jotting down a list of school supplies you might need for the upcoming school year when you get a notification from your email. 

Professor J. Miller

Fall A- Tuesdays and Thursdays 10:30-12:30- Office hours: TR 1:00-3:00 or by appointment 

Welcome to Intro to Philosophy! Like the title suggests this course will be the most basic introduction to philosophy and its integration into our society. No textbook is required for this class but I do expect you all to come to every class prepared to discuss the handouts I give you. Participation is a requirement for this class and I look forward to hearing all of your thoughts and opinions. Looking forward to meeting you all next week!

Best, JM

Although you won’t have to spend even more money on textbooks for the class, the prospect of having to show up every other day for weeks on end just to earn a participation credit is enough for you to groan aloud. 

-

The week goes by quickly, between work, getting ready for the upcoming semester, and hanging out with Jade, you’ve barely had any time to yourself. Lucky for you, you don’t have any classes on Monday giving you time for some much needed self care. You complete your yearly before-school-starts-self-care-routine, trimming your hair, painting your nails, shaving your legs, plucking your eyebrows- the works. 

You spend the day lounging about your room, playing your favorite albums on your record player to fill the silence. You try on different outfits feeling totally relaxed for the first time in weeks. As if on cue you get a notification from your phone. Opening your email you find a message from Professor Miller with a full copy of the syllabus and a short article to read. 

Good afternoon everyone! Below I have linked a copy of the syllabus and an article for you all to read before class tomorrow. I hope to spend less time going over the syllabus, only answering questions you might have, and more time talking about the contents of the paper. Please come prepared!

Best, JM

Great, homework before you even start the class. You move to your bed where lulu is sprawled out and begin reading the article. You read paragraph after paragraph discussing value theory and metaphysics, taking notes as you do with the hopes of actually understanding what you’re reading. You finish and decide that you’ll review the notes tomorrow before class. Surely it won’t be that bad.

-

You wake up later than you intended and realize you don’t have nearly as much time to get ready as you wanted. You get ready quickly knowing you’ll have to stop by your school’s cafe since you didn’t get a chance to eat breakfast. The drive is a short one and eventually you’re pulling into the student parking lot.

Grabbing your backpack and keys you enter the cafe, the smell of freshly brewed coffee filling your nostrils. Looking at your watch you realize you have 20 minutes till class starts and relax a bit. You order your usual, a vanilla latte with two shots of espresso and a chocolate croissant, and wait for your name to be called. Behind you you hear the bell on the door jingle signaling that another customer has entered the already very busy cafe. 

As you wait you can’t help but look around at the cafe’s patrons, some are clearly students while others are harder to discern, maybe professors, maybe alumni, you’re unsure? Your university is located at the center of the city so many alumni linger around, finding jobs after graduating but still gathering at some of the college’s most popular cafes and restaurants. You’re broken out of your thoughts by the barista calling out names and orders. 

“Large six shot quad espresso with extra ice for Joel”, shouts the barista.

Your eyes first land on the very large cup filled to the brim with espresso and then to the person picking it up from the counter. Your eyes trail up from his hands, to his arms, and finally to his face, ogling him unintentionally, and you’re met with a sly grin from the man standing in front of you.

“Sorry for starring”, you laugh, “I’ve just never seen someone order that many shots of espresso in a single cup.”

“What can I say, I like my coffee strong”, he laughs. “I’m Joel”, he says, extending his hand out for you to shake.

The man before you is tall, six foot if you’d have to guess, with broad shoulders and large arms. He’s sporting a light blue button down and navy blue trousers that make his already tan skin seem impossibly warmer and brighter. His dark brown hair is peppered with grays as is his beard- though you wouldn’t really describe it as a beard, more like scruff. His hands are large and pretty much engulf your own as you extend your hand to shake his. His shake is firm and you find the handshake lingering longer than you both probably anticipated. 

“I’m Y/N, it’s nice to meet you”, you reply. From the looks of it he’s anywhere between his late 40’s or early 50’s, but you’re not really sure. His brown eyes hold your gaze momentarily and you notice that he too is sizing you up. You snap out of it when you hear your name called.

“Small vanilla latte with two shots of espresso for Y/N”, the barista shouts again. 

“Ah I can see why my six shots would scare you”, Joel jokes, keeping his body facing you as you reach for your breakfast. 

“Yeah well caffeine tends to make me jittery and I’ve got class in a bit so I’m trying to keep the coffee to a minimum”, you respond. “Anyways, I better get going”, you say, “It was nice meeting you, Joel.”

Before he has a chance to respond you find yourself walking to the door but not before turning back around and giving him a small smile. As you make the short walk to your first class you find yourself thinking of him. It’s been a while since you’ve been with a guy and maybe that’s why you find yourself still thinking about this stranger but a part of you also knows it has more to do with his good looks. You’ve never really found yourself attracted to older men like that, partly because you live in a college town where most of the guys you interact with are no older than twenty five and partly because you’ve just never met an attractive older man in person.

You think back to his face, a blend of strong, masculine features but with a much softer side as well. The slight curve of his nose and edge of his jaw seemed almost drawn with charcoal, and you can’t help but think back to the warmth in his eyes.

God it’s been too long since you’ve been with a guy, now you’re replaying a five minute interaction with a total stranger. Great. You take your phone out to text Jade.

Y: Dude I just saw the cutest fucking guy, too bad he was like 50:/ It’s actually concerning how touch starved I am bc im literally daydreaming about this guy and we said like five words to each other LMAO J: OUUUU DILF DILF DILF Girl go for it, who cares if he's old, hot is hot Did you get the sexy strangers number?? Y: NO our interaction lasted maybe two minutes  J: Too bad:(  It’s okay bc I hereby declare that we are officially going out this weekend and you’re gonna get laiddddd Y: okay this conversation is over J: this. weekend.

You smile despite yourself and fasten your pace hoping to leave any thoughts of Joel in your wake. You take the stairs up to the second floor and enter the room. Although it’s not quite as big as a lecture hall, there are a decent amount of students already there waiting for class to start. You take a seat in the middle of the third row, your usual spot since it’s close enough to seem engaged when you want but also far enough away so you’re not in the direct line of crossfire when it comes time to participate. 

You’re too distracted getting settled to notice him walk in but when you look up you see Joel… in your class… walking to the podium? You’re struck with the sudden realization that he’s your professor. Your professor is Joel. Oh my God. The sexy stranger, as Jade put it, is literally your teacher.

It seems that he notices at the same time as you do and he gives you a warm smile. Okay, there’s no need to freak out. He clearly doesn’t care so why should you and really there’s nothing to even care about right. It’s fine, he was clearly making normal conversation and you just happened to be the sex-deprived stranger he gave his attention to. There is absolutely no reason to overthink this. So what your teacher is cute, it won’t make a difference, you’re here to get your credit and go.

He makes his way around his desk and podium and begins, “Good morning class, I hope you didn’t have too much trouble finding the room. It’s good to see you’re all here so let’s get started shall we. If you have any questions about the syllabus now is the time to ask, I want to get started on dissecting the article I had you all read.”

His voice is clear- confident- and you can’t help but to hold onto every word he says. He looks around the room, waiting a beat to see if anyone raises their hand and moves on. 

“Okay great, now I want you guys to first raise your hands and tell me your thoughts on the paper itself, did you like it, did you dislike it? Feel free to get as specific as you want.”

Around you, your classmates raise their hands and participate, voicing their opinions on the paper. Some thought the paper was interesting, others didn’t, but there seems to be a universal agreement that the paper was difficult to really understand, a fact your professor seems to catch onto.

“So it seems as though the room is pretty split between whether the paper was good or not. That’s fine! Philosophers have disagreements all the time. But how many of you really understand what Value Theory is, hm? Can someone explain what it is to the best of their abilities, it’s okay to be wrong, that’s why I’m here”, he says. 

You raise your hand, “Value theory is, at its core, worried about justifying our value judgments and the actions that follow. It basically tries to answer hard questions like what it means to pick between the ‘lesser of two evils’ or what it means to be a ‘good’ person.”

“That’s exactly right”, he says, holding your gaze for a moment and giving you a small smile. 

You return his smile with pride, happy to have gotten the answer right. You’ve always excelled academically and although you would never admit it to anyone else, you crave the validation you get from your professors and peers. 

The rest of class continues on like normal with Professor Miller explaining the differences between Value Theory and Metaphysics and how they might help us answer some difficult questions. 

Class continues as normal and just as he’s about to dismiss everyone he gives a few housekeeping reminders: two papers to read before next class, office hours are Thursdays after class, and mentoring?

“Like the syllabus says, I do mentor a small group of students each semester who want to get a more in depth understanding of philosophy. Unfortunately I cannot mentor every single one of you so if you want to be one of the lucky students please submit a one-page proposal of sorts by the end of class Thursday. If you have any questions feel free to email me. You’re dismissed”, he says.

Packing your things you’re left with this new idea to ponder. It might be good to have Professor Miller as a mentor so you can get another letter of recommendation, but you’re not even sure you even enjoy philosophy like that. You have a couple days to decide anyways, who knows what you’ll end up doing. 

-

The rest of your day drags on slowly and by the time you finally get home you can’t help but sink onto your carpet floor and just lay there. Lulu hops off the bed and curls up next to your side. You let out a groan thinking about just how much homework you have to do and it’s only your first day. Two papers to read, a proposal to write- you decided you’d take a shot at it, there’s no guarantee you’ll even get picked so who cares- a four page research paper due, and an online quiz. You mentally thank yourself for only having picked three classes this semester. 

After eating dinner and showering you decide to start on your proposal. You rack your brain trying to come up with at least three different reasons you want this mentorship. One: you need another letter of recommendation- you plan on applying to graduate school or law school and both require amazing letters of rec- and one from your philosophy professor would look good. Two: you find philosophy interesting (sometimes) and maybe one on one sessions with your professor will strengthen that interest. And three: it doesn’t hurt that your would-be-mentor is easy on the eyes. Okay that third reason isn’t really a reason it’s more of a plus but it’s still valid. 

It takes you longer to submit your proposal than it does to actually finish it. You deliberate the options: you could submit it and work closely with Professor Miller, if you get picked that is, or you could never submit it and never have to worry about being in close proximity to that man. Fuck it, you think, and click submit. You hope you don’t end up regretting that. 

-

Thursday comes and goes pretty uneventfully with the exception of Mr. Miller telling your class that he would release the names of the students picked for the mentorship by the end of the weekend. You, surprisingly, aren’t at all nervous. You know that if you get picked it will look great on your resume but if you don’t it won’t really make much of a difference. 

Unsurprisingly you spend the rest of your day studying and going to work, it seems as though your days consist only of those two things now. When you get home you find Jade sitting at the dining room table on her laptop. You decide to join her seeing as you both have seen so little of each other because of all the craziness that the start of the semester consists of. 

You guys quickly stop working on any actual homework and start talking about random stuff, friends, boys, work, and school. Eventually the conversation shifts to your professor.

Jade gives you a smirk, nudging your arm, “So how cute is he really? Do you have a picture of him or something, I’ll be the real judge.”

You open your laptop again, scrolling down your course page until you find his picture. Zooming in, you turn your computer towards Jade.

“Sweet baby Jesus, that is the sexiest man I’ve ever seen. Oh my GOD! Is it too late to register for this class?” she laughs. “If you don’t make a move I will.”

You laugh, snatching your computer back from her. “You know I can’t do anything, he’s my professor. It would be totally unethical”, you say.

“It would be totally fucking hot”, says Jade. “Come on it’s not like you’ll get expelled or anything, it says nothing in the Student Code of Conduct about it so you’re fine.”

“Have you ever even read the Student Code of Conduct?” you retort. 

“Well no, but I’m sure it doesn’t say anything about that”, Jade laughs.

You both stay there talking for another hour or so, taking turns telling each other about how your days have gone. Eventually Jade decides that Saturday night is “the night” as she puts it. 

“We are so getting you laid, you need it more than anyone I know, no offense”, she says.

You give her a glare but ultimately give in. You haven’t gone out since that one night last semester that ended with you holding Jade’s hair as she hurled the contents of her stomach into the toilet. You’ve never been much of a partier, much less someone who enjoyed one night stands but if you’re honest with yourself, it’s been a barren few months and you haven’t had much company with anyone except Bertha, your vibrator. Maybe it was finally time to give into the college craze and sleep with a random person, no emotions, no strings attached, just sex. 

The thought stays in your head throughout the rest of your day. As you’re getting ready for bed you open your laptop and can’t help but look at the picture of Mr. Miller there. He really is sexy, you think, as you’re reminded of his broad shoulders and strong arms. You fall asleep with the thought of him in your mind.

-

You’re sitting in his office, nestling yourself further into the wicker chair. You close your eyes taking in the smells of his office, rich mahogany, oak, and leather. You feel him behind you, his presence close enough for you to feel the warmth radiating off of his body. Your heart seems to stop, anticipating his next move. His hands trail up your arms leaving goosebumps in their wake. He lowers his head down to your shoulder and you feel his breath against the shell of your ear, sending a shiver down to the base of your spine.

“Do you know how wrong it would be for us to do anything? Hm?” he whispers. 

His voice reverberates through your entire body, straight to your core. You feel the familiar flutter in your lower abdomen and the way your heart seems to start beating again but this time impossibly fast.

His lips press a kiss to your shoulder and you instinctively move your head to the side, hoping he takes it as a sign that you want more. His fingers trail up your arms again but this time to your neck, pressing the pad of his thumb down onto the skin he just kissed.

“Your heart’s beating a little fast there sweetheart, you alright?”

You nod, silently praying your body doesn’t betray you again. 

“Hm. Are you lying to me now? You know”, he says kissing your neck again, “good girls don’t lie. Are you a good girl?” he asks.

You think you nod again but your mind is so out of it you’re not sure if you actually do or not. His scruff lightly scratches against your smooth skin as his left hand wraps itself around the base of your left shoulder and his lips make their way up and down your right, your breath hitching as he does. 

Against your ear, he again whispers, “Tell me the truth, baby. Do you want me to touch you? Do you want me to take you right here?”

Your mind is reeling from his touch, his lips, his words, you’re struck silent for once.

“You know baby, if you’re honest I might just give you what you want. C'mon darlin’ be a good girl and tell me how much you want it.”

You open your mouth and pray that your voice sounds stronger than you feel right now. “I want you to touch me. Please touch me”, you whine. 

“Where do you want me to touch darlin’? Your breasts? Want me to play with your nipples? Or your cunt? I bet it’s already so wet for me”, he whispers against your skin. 

“Both”, you cry out, spreading your legs apart praying he gives you what you most crave.

He lifts you up from the chair and spins you around, pressing you firmly to his front. He moves one hand to your hair and pulls it gently, angling your face to his. His eyes have gone from brown to nearly black and it sends another shiver down your body. His lips crash into yours in a kiss so earth shattering you feel yourself turn to mush, leaning against the desk for some support. With one hand in your hair and the other on the small of your back, pulling you impossibly closer to his front, you finally get to feel the hard dent in his pants. You moan into his mouth and regain some sense. You kiss him with a newfound intensity, pawing at this chest hoping to feel some of the hard muscle beneath his shirt.

He smirks against your mouth, chuckling at your urgency. “You’re so damn cute when you’re desperate, baby. Don’t worry, I’ll give you what you want”, he says before his hands begin exploring your body even more. You feel the hand that was on the base of your back move down your ass and give it a hard squeeze, that familiar flutter in your abdomen returning. His lips once again move to your throat and down your chest; you feel your face getting hot and your breaths getting more rapid because of the lack of oxygen. He begins unbuttoning your satin blouse, replacing where the buttons were with kisses. 

He moves you so your back now rests flat against his desk and you feel him kiss lower and lower down your body. He kisses his way down to your naval and begins unbuttoning your jeans, pulling the zipper down slowly, taunting you. 

Just when you think he’s going to give you what he wants, his lips start going back up, following a similar path as before. He kisses your breasts over the mesh balconette bra you’re wearing, your nipples hardening as he does. You’re moaning wildly at this point, never having been this turned on before. His hands move to your back, unclipping your bra and tossing it to the side. He begins attacking your chest with a fervent need, softly biting your nipples, forcing a moan from deep within your chest. Your hands make their way to his hair and you tug at the base of his curls needing an anchor as you feel yourself slowly begin to lose it. You’re desperately trying to find some friction between your legs and you start grinding your still covered cunt against the dent in his pants. 

“Look at you, such a sweet thing grinding against me. Cmon baby, tell me again how much you want it”, he says as his lips make their way down your body again.

“Please” you beg, “I want it so bad, please just fuck me.” Your chest is rising and falling rapidly and you’re almost certain you look fucked out of your mind even though nothing’s even happened yet. 

“Oh I’m not going to fuck you here, honey, though I bet you’d fucking love it”, he says.

Your chest deflates a little from disappointment and you can’t help the low whine that comes out of your throat.

“I will, however, give that pussy the attention it deserves”, he says again, this time pulling your pants down past your hips and off your legs. 

Your heart begins racing as he kisses his way down your stomach, stopping right at the edge of your panties. He looks up at you and sees pure desire written all over your face. He kisses your center over the fabric of your panties, making you jolt from the sudden contact. Moving to kiss along the inside of your thighs, his scruff scratches harshly now against your skin. His fingers wrap themselves along the sides of your panties and he slowly peels them off of you. 

You look down at his kneeling figure, fully clothed with his shirt sleeves rolled up to his elbows, a stark contrast to your entirely naked form spread out for him on his desk. 

“So fuckin beautiful”, he says against the skin of your thighs, peppering kisses there at random. Just as you're about to beg for the fourth time, he wraps your legs over his shoulders and dips his head between your thighs. He licks a long strip up to your clit where he starts sucking relentlessly. Your fingers find themselves digging into his hair, holding on as you grind yourself further into his mouth. He licks your cunt until you’re writhing in pleasure, holding onto the desk and his hair for dear life. You feel that familiar knot in your stomach begin to form and you chase it. You’re a moaning mess when he starts to tongue fuck your pussy, so close you could scream. His nose continuously bumps against the hood of your clit and you think you see stars.

“Fuck I’m close”, you moan, your back arching against the cool wooden desk.

One of his hands comes up to tug on your hardened nipples while the other finds refuge between your thighs. You feel him smirk against your skin and you realize why when he dips a finger into your spasming hole. His large finger works itself in and out of you, pushing you closer to your release. 

“You like that baby?” he asks. “Cmon I want you to come for me. Can you do that sweetheart?” 

Not waiting for your response he adds another finger, fucking you in tandem with his mouth. With every stroke you feel yourself getting closer, your juices gushing down your inner thighs, producing a sound so obscene it’s bordering pornographic. It’s only when he curves his finger, hitting your g-spot that you feel yourself lose it. 

“Oh my God-”, you cry out, “Fuck I’m cumming.”

Your legs shake beside his head but he doesn’t stop fucking you through your high. Your mind is blank and your thighs are sticky from your release and you think you might have just gone to heaven and back.

-

You wake with a gasp in your bed. You’re drenched in sweat and you feel your shirt sticking to the skin on your back. The boyshorts you’re wearing feel wet and sticky from your release. You sit up trying to momentarily catch your breath and you stare in the mirror directly across from your bed. The skin on your chest is red and blotching and your sheets are rumpled.

God, did you really just have a wet dream about your professor? Maybe applying for this mentorship was a mistake.

[ramblingsfromthytruly]

"You'll not always be motivated so you have to be disciplined."

day 29+30+31/50 productivity challenge - condensing 3 days into 1 post cuz of 2 all nighters in a row i- dw tho cuz i did sleep a couple of hours in between here & there.. still genuinely dunno how i survived. learn from my mistakes & don't procrastinate cuz that's the only reason i was stuck in this mess

23rd September 2024, Monday

[almost nobody from my class actually went to school (& i'm not an exception) cuz tuesday's a study break & wednesday's our chem exam]

💤: 8 hrs - i mean ig at least that's one plus side of sleeping in?

🕒 1 p.m.- *sigh*

afternoon morning skincare

duolingo

practiced playing keyboard

did some college-related research

gradblr intro post

took bath

studied + made notes chemistry ch: structure of atom (not fully)

did so much planning fml (not good, not good at all, i procrastinated a lot!!)

did an exercise video

🚰: 4 glasses

24th September 2024, Tuesday

[study break day]

🕒 6:30 a.m. - my "night" is over & the day has begun

morning skincare

revised chemistry ch: some basic concepts of chemistry

🕒 12 - 3 p.m. - napped

duolingo

had a mental breakdown, pathetically cried, felt like a failure, etc

studied chemistry ch: structure of atom

took bath

night skincare

packed bag for tmr

🕒 10 p.m. - 12 a.m. - napped

🚰: 3 glasses

25th September 2024, Wednesday

[chem exam]

studied chemistry ch: classification of elements and periodicity in properties

studied chemistry ch: chemical bonding and molecular structure

morning skincare

quickly wrote down all formulae + important values

🕒 8 a.m. - left for school sleep deprived asf but caffeinated & motivated to get through the terrible exam

chemistry exam: i will be in deep shit when results come out *sigh* obviously i'm not happy when my friends do bad but only one comfort is that we're in shit together (they're literally the only 2 ppl i talk to in school). i NEED to do well on all my other exams, like somehow make an extraordinary improvement to show that i'm good with the other subjects and will just prioritize studying chem in the future. also made a deal with my mom that if i get above 83% overall then i'll finally get my own tab and headphones. we've been meaning to buy it for some time now, and my mom agreed only because my first tests' marks was at 64% (cuz i didn't study..). not exactly an "academic weapon" just yet.. only yet hopefully..

🕒 1-5 p.m. - came back home & slept like a log (no one's surprised)

(re) planned my day

took bath

ate my first meal of the day (how did i survive till here with just a coffee before school??)

played chess online (lost once, won once)

planned week after dussehra break

night skincare

decided to take a break today & wake up early tmr to start anew; i.e. operation proper sleep every night is green!

🕒 12 a.m. - went to bed finally

🚰: 4 glasses

🎧: a beautiful ravenclaw-themed playlist on youtube

[thinkin-bout-milgram]

Deep Cover: Initial Thoughts

Okay, this one is a lot to look at , especially given how relatively little is actually said. Still, I think I'm starting to make sense of it, so here's my analysis that I've figured out so far.

I'll be using @/oehale on Twitter's translation of Kotoko's voice drama Yonah. As usual, I'll be bolding my general topics/thoughts and moving forwards with that. Let's get started!

Kotoko sees herself as the new warden.

The most obvious comparison here is the mimicking of UNDERCOVER. Kotoko, like the original UNDERCOVER, has lyrics that start with "UNDER" and are followed by talking about the other prisoners. She also basically says as much to Es; they're working together now. They should work together to make the "right" Milgram.

It's pretty obvious that our little innocent deal with Kotoko has gone straight to her head. She now sees herself as part of the authority of the prison, and believes it's her role to give out the proper punishment for guilty verdicts. However...

Kotoko believes everyone in the prison (other than her) should be guilty.

This is pretty obvious based on those previously mentioned "UNDER" lines. They're all very critical. Notably, the ones that most clearly indicate this-- towards the end of the song-- only include the innocent prisoners, but she's made it pretty clear that she agrees the earlier guilties should have also been guilty.

“UNDER” Doltish “001 Parasite” “UNDER” Obscene “002 Slut” “UNDER” Incessant “004 Phony Queen” “UNDER” Doomed “005 Dissection Pawn” “UNDER” Concealing “007 Deceiver” “UNDER” Inept “011 Guard”

Even Es, the "inept guard," gets to face Kotoko's judgment! That line is interesting in conversation with the audio drama, which focuses on Kotoko calling Es weak because they've grown to like and have sympathy for the prisoners. Kotoko has come to view Es, someone who is willing to forgive the guilty (in her perception) prisoners, as being guilty as well for not condemning them.

(Also, 011? Are you implying that something will happen after the tenth? Am I right about a Trial 4 in which we'll vote on Es??)

Notably, for Kotoko, wanting everyone to be voted guilty basically means that she wants everyone else to die. In the intro to the second Trial, Kotoko said that she wouldn't go as easy next time, and Mahiru already nearly died this time around.

So ridiculous, isn’t it ridiculous They’re still here, still here, it grates me

This also definitely seems pretty "get everyone else out of here (kill them)" to me, especially given that it's shown after Kotoko smashes all the pieces representing the innocent prisoners as well.

The guilty ones were already broken earlier into the MV:

Futa's and Mahiru's were broken first; they've already been "broken" in the sense that they've been attacked. The other guilty prisoners go next, as they're Kotoko's next targets. Then, finally, the rest of the originally innocent prisoners, who Kotoko hopes will be voted guilty sooner rather than later.

This is also a small note, but I find it interesting that the line "I want a reason for judgment execution, I want it" was initially translated as "I need a good reason to give justice" in the Trial 2 Song Preview. The specific reference to execution was added/wasn't emphasized in the original version. I don't know what the "correct" direct translation is, but I always stand by the fact that if the translators chose to translate something in a certain way, it's intentional.

(Side note, but I wonder if UNDERCOVER's change in official lyrics to include all of the prisoners' Trial 1 song titles happened when they decided to mimic it in Deep Cover, which also includes the Trial 1 song titles. Could be a reason for the change in translation.)

And, uh... that's all I got. That I'm confident about, anyways. I still have other thoughts, though, so rather than me having bolded claims as section titles, I'm just gonna have, like... categories.

The Girl

You.

We've seen her before, in HARROW:

So, she's the one Kotoko rescued from this guy, right? That's what this seems to be telling us. However, there are a couple of important details to consider.

Where's her hat?

What about the girl in the white dress?

What about the girl in the pink shirt?

I'll get back to 1 in a bit.

The girl with the white dress in question only appears shortly in HARROW, and as far as I can tell, not at all in Deep Cover:

It could technically be the same girl, I guess, given that we can't see her face. However, then there's the pink shirt girl:

There's also still this thing from HARROW:

In my original HARROW theory, I theorized that the guy abducted Kotoko (the girl in the pink shirt), but the girl in the white dress distracted him/sacrificed herself long enough for Kotoko to get away. The memorial/potentially a police notification?/whatever the sign with the flowers is belongs to the white dress girl. Kotoko then later tracks down the guy who did it, when he's abducting the girl in orange. Kotoko then kills him.

Honestly, I think that this still tracks. We didn't really get anything else about the memorial, the girl in white or the girl in pink in this MV-- or the guy she killed, for that matter-- so there aren't any conflicts. I'll be moving forward assuming that that's true.

So, then, back to the orange girl. She isn't wearing the hat Kotoko gave her when we see her getting dragged off. What does that mean?

Establishing the Timeline

It seems most likely to me that most of Deep Cover happens after HARROW's murder. That's not just because the opening shot of Deep Cover looks like the end of HARROW. There's a lot more going into that.

First off, there's the girl. I initially thought that she might be Kotoko's sister, given the apparent familiarity Kotoko seems to show to her, rubbing her head in the park scene. However, once I remembered my initial theory, there are only really two possible interpretations I can think of for her involvement with the man Kotoko kills.

Either

She isn't at all related to Kotoko, and they "met" when Kotoko rescued her by killing the man, OR

She IS Kotoko's sister, in which case Kotoko probably used her as bait to lure out the guy in order to follow him back to his warehouse and kill him.

The second one was my initial read, but after looking at it longer, I think the first one makes more sense on the whole. If I'm right that the first thing that happens in the Deep Cover MV is the murder, that means that the park scene happens after it.

This isn't hard evidence or anything, but notably, the hat the girl has says "LUCKY" on it. If she's lucky, it probably means that she's lucky that she survived the situation with the man. It wouldn't be luck if she was planted there by Kotoko; it would only be luck if she happened to be the victim who's abduction lined up with Kotoko's rescue mission.

The park scene is still a little confusing to me if they were strangers, though. After all, Kotoko pretty pointedly ignores the girl at 2:06 to 2:19ish, and as far as I can tell, nothing major happened between the park and then.

There are three main explanations I can think of.

The first one is that the girl tried to stop her. Like, maybe she thought it was really cool when Kotoko rescued her, but when she realized Kotoko went to go threaten/possibly kill someone who, like, stole something from a business or something, she thought that was too much. This is pretty much entirely based upon the fact that the "Tell me why you tell me stop" lyric lines up suspiciously well with the change in the girl's expression from happiness to surprise, and then eventually what looks like fear.

The second one is that Kotoko is distracted at that point. In the park, we see Kotoko still looking at her phone, presumably looking for more wrongdoers. She spends time with the girl while simultaneously working, so it's no bother to her to spend time with the girl. However, when the girl tries to greet her later, she's in work mode. After passing the girl, we see Kotoko marching on forward with smoke (?) around her. It's very dramatic and she looks very threatening. It's even possible that she's doing a werewolf transformation type of thing there. If Kotoko has her sights set on a target, she might be more unwilling to waste time talking to the girl. This would signify that the people she rescues are irrelevant to her; her focus is on punishing wrongdoers, not checking in on saved would-be-victims.

The third one is that the park actually happened after the thing on the street, but given that she's already wearing the hat on the street scene, which she first wears in the park, that doesn't make a lot of sense.

I think the second option makes the most sense, so it's what I'll be going with.

So, the timeline looks like this:

Kotoko, as a child, is abducted by that one guy. She wears a pink shirt in the flashback. The girl in the white dress intercepts and allows Kotoko to escape. Years later, after becoming a vigilante, Kotoko tracks down the same guy and kills him, rescuing the orange outfit girl in the process.

The orange outfit girl finds Kotoko in the park and either receives or shows Kotoko the hat she got. Kotoko, while still looking at information for her next target, entertains her because she isn't actively busy.

The girl tries to approach Kotoko on the street. However, Kotoko is heading after her next target, and there's no time to lose. The expression of intensity and general coldness Kotoko gives off intimidates the girl, and Kotoko proceeds with her plans.

So, that's how Kotoko's murder works, right? There's absolutely nothing else related to time that could drive me insane!

...

Becoming a Lunatic (The Moon Phases)

Okay, Kotoko's a werewolf, she attacks on the full moon, we all get it. Except... goddamn it, there's more moon than just the full moon.

As far as I can tell, there are three moon phases that are shown across HARROW and Deep Cover. The first one I'm talking about is the full moon.

The Full Moon

The wolf zone occurrence of the full moon in HARROW lines up with when she kills the guy, which makes sense. In Deep Cover, it's preceding the time where she smashes all of the remaining innocent prisoners. That hasn't happened yet.

Because moon cycles happen repeatedly, I think it's okay to say that the full moon happened in the past, when Kotoko killed the guy, and in the future, where Kotoko hopes to kill the other prisoners. It's even possible there's a full moon we didn't see when Kotoko attacked Mahiru and Futa.

Like, that's probably just a spotlight, but it definitely COULD be moonlight. Either way, we don't see the sky, so it at least isn't conclusively NOT a full moon then.

So, full moon = violence. What else?

The Waning Crescent

Disclaimer I know nothing about moons. I am working off of this chart from timeanddate.com. If it's wrong blame them, I can't find a better chart anywhere on the internet.

Notably, the waning crescent is what the moon is for pretty much all of HARROW, except the quick appearance of the full moon at the end. There are clearly visible shots of it around 1 minute and 2 minutes in.

I don't really know what specifically waning crescent is supposed to mean here. Google says that it's about change and reflection, but spoilers, that's what it also told me about the third moon phase that shows up, so I don't know how much stock to really put into that.

I think the most obvious (?) symbolism of it is that it's right before the new moon, when the light isn't shining at all. If I had to take a stab at what the new moon represented, I'd say it's times in which Kotoko is powerless. She's powerless when she's looking for information before the first murder, she's powerless when looking at her crossed out board (more on that later), and she's powerless now-- when we're going to vote. She can't give out justice without our help. This is the last part before we give our verdict on her, so as she's looking around at the other prisoners, innocent and guilty alike, she's preparing to be able to do nothing. She hopes she'll get back to that full moon and exact justice on the other prisoners, but that's only hypothetical for now.

Let's talk about that board really quickly. This is how it looks in the middle of Deep Cover, when the crescent shows up:

This is how it looks at both the beginning and end of HARROW:

This is another reason to believe that Deep Cover happens after the end of HARROW. After all, it'd be hard to un-black out the papers, and given that they're hanging in basically the same positions, it'd be surprising if they were replaced papers. So, that means that Kotoko blacks out her information sometime after she successfully kills the guy.

The scene with the blacked out board is immediately followed by the final moon phase, and then by the girl in orange in the park.

The Third Quarter Moon

The crescent moon on top of the board directly fades into this third quarter moon. This made sense to me until I saw the arrow on the moon phase chart telling me to read it counterclockwise. Then I was confused.

Because the third quarter moon happens immediately before the waning crescent, I think that this moon shift is meant to serve as a time rewind. The scene with the girl in the park (and therefore also, the girl on the street) happens before the scene with the blacked out board. This supports the idea that Kotoko ignored the girl because she was taking out a target; after that scene, all her targets are gone, so Kotoko can cross out the information about them on her wall.

This also checks out with the stuff with the girl in the park and on the street happening after Kotoko kills the guy, given that the third quarter moon comes a little bit after the full moon.

There's no occurrence of the third quarter moon in HARROW. However, it does actually show up one other time in Deep Cover.

At 2:28, the moon shows up in third quarter again, then transitioning to a pink full moon. I'd assume that this shift backwards in the moon cycle, as it did earlier, signifies turning back in time. However, the pink full moon refers to Kotoko killing all of the remaining Milgram prisoners, an event that's already in the future. What happens after the hypothetical future scenario of Kotoko killing everyone?

The answer is, Kotoko collapsing in the wreckage of the destruction she caused. She's in her warden outfit, so it's consistent. The scratch marks probably indicate that this is immediately after she turns back from being a werewolf, in the hypothetical pink full moon.

This indicates that, somewhere in her mind, Kotoko realizes that she might suffer from killing everyone else, collapsing under the weight. It does seem like Kotoko understands that being the one true savior is difficult.

K: I know it well. It's so hard to hold the responsibility of a guard all alone. I've also felt this way. You are such a kind person. You can't stand the prison changing with the power of your choices. So you need someone to be with. Leave all of the dirty work to me.

Even if she wants to present herself as someone who's crushed her own weakness, she still has to worry. The lyrics of the chorus are begging Es to give her her next target. If she doesn't have people to target, she doesn't have purpose. Her board is all blacked out; the guilty prisoners will be crushed. Once all that's said and done... what else is she going to do?

Conclusion

Anyways, that's my best shot at understanding this MV. It is... confusing. The main things I still don't understand across the two MVs are the many wolves with purple glowing eyes in HARROW and what the hell the pieces that represent the other prisoners in Deep Cover are. If they're not chess, then what are they???

oh wait lmao i forgot

VERDICT: GUILTY

We already knew this one.

I can't tell Kotoko that it's right to kill the rest of the prisoners, and she really needs to be restrained. I don't know exactly what the damage is gonna be to Kotoko's mental state, but for the safety of everyone else, I kinda have to. She makes fair points about us verbally torturing prisoners not being that different from physically harming them, but... we're at the very least not shooting to kill?? Like, if you kill them, there's no hope at redeeming them. That's what we're trying to do, even if the tactics Milgram gives us are less than ideal.

Anyways, tell me your thoughts and if any of this made sense! Happy end of Trial 2!

[asklilmissrarity]

Progress Update on Melodi

Hello, everyone!

Happy New Year!

On December 15th 2023, I made the public announcement that Lil Miss Rarity will receive no further comic updates from me, finally confirming a common theory that I had lost the will to continue creating it. Lil Miss Rarity, just to confirm here, is now public domain and I encourage fan-blogs and will proverbially pass the torch to anyone who would like to take up the mantle.

It wasn't an easy decision to make because of how many times I'd promised I would never stop updating it, and I did in fact have future plans for it (I will be making a video on YouTube describing how I'd planned to continue the story, and how I would have ended it if I ever did).

But in its wake came Melodi, a spiritual successor to Lil Miss Rarity, and I've decided that a story-driven video game with ongoing updates would be the smartest decision, at least for the introduction to the series.

And so along came this twiggy elf. (Important note: Her booby size on her sprite is exaggerated, same as her head size. The in-game art for cutscenes will show more proper body proportions.)

Melodi is now just four directional (diagonal movement) sprite animations away from being a complete character sprite, which means creating a proof of concept will be just a matter of time.

As of today, I have completed:

The intro cutscene for the game, leading to the introduction of Melodi and her teacher, Eliah Sterium (Multiple full color images accompany that cutscene)

Seven unique songs entirely composed by myself (Literally learned how to make music a week ago just for this project)

Four directional movement sprites consisting of 6 frames of pixel animation each direction (Including separating each part to make them usable for other characters' sprites)

Four directional idle animations consisting of 6 frames of animation each direction (Again, making paperdolls to use later for other characters)

A discord server for the ongoing production of Melodi RPG where I'll be answering questions, including answering as the characters from the game similar to the LMR ask-blog

27 (just counted) preliminary sketches to flesh out character designs and have reference for myself

Eliah Sterium's design, making the ladies go gaga

Mountains of lore (a lot of which can be found in the Discord's lore channels)

Personalities for the primary cast of deadbeat magic school students

Art for the title screen

The entire storyboard for Episode 1 and Episode 2

The pricing model for the game (Episode 1 will be a free demo, and all remaining episodes will be bundled together in a $10 purchase)

The "Pet Cwow" option on the Quit Game menu and what happens when you pet him (You'll see)

The entire intro in-engine (Screencapped above with Eliah there)

Many new fans/friends who've introduced themselves in the Discord

And, I have received (on December 31st) my very first negative review of the game, which I will cherish. Someone who knew nothing other than "It's a game about an elf who goes psychotic" and saw the title art said that the game was basically doomed to fail because Melodi has large breasts, to which I replied "Imagine being this fucking butthurt over tits existing" which set him off into an obnoxious and insulting rage that ended with "Enjoy nothing but horny virgins playing your game and ignoring the dog water, generic ass story." A quote that I will never, ever, ever forget, and if I someday make a physical release of the game, I promise you, that quote will be on the back of the box.

There's even more than just all this, I've already sunk tons of hours of time and effort into the production of Melodi and I am super excited to continue.

I want to thank everyone for the support of the game so far, and I hope once people know more about the story and characters, the game sees the same kind of fandom that Lil Miss Rarity once had.

Luv you all

~Jay Tonique

[thatfrenchacademic]

Justice as spectacle in Fontaine, or a too long word vomit from a tired PhD in Law gushing over Genshin 4.0

Alternative title: “Justice must be seen to be done”, a visual playbook by Genshin 4.0

Intro: This is a valid use of a PhD in law, actually.

I made the mistake of playing the 4.0 update of Genshin while I was finalizing my PhD in law and politics, and the result was my brain refuse to think about anything else than judicial performativity and the use judicial spectacle in Fontaine. So time to make good use of 9 years of University by dissecting why I absolutely love how Fontaine’s justice system is presented. It was initially much longer and covering why justice as a spectacle is not necessarily an issue or sign of a disfunctionning legal system,  then what exactly about the Fontainian justice system is actually fucked up, but it got too long so I’m keeping that for the indeterminate future. So the pitch of this thing is: Mihoyo is basically providing us with an animated First Person POV game version of legal ethnographic works on justice and the courthouse, and it is really cool.

And since I am a nerd with both too much time to read and to play, we are making this a proper academic, with literature and all, because listen to me, LEGAL ACADEMICA IS COOL, ACTUALLY, and law and literature at large is a genuine field of study that we, as a society, need to talk about more.

[also there is non-zero chance that I edit this brainrot and submit it for publication at some point]

Warning: I am basing this on 4.0, up to and including Act IV Chapter II (hence no discussion of the prison system) and if Mihoyo thwarts the whole thing with 4.1  [oops I am late so now 4.2, since 4.1 did not thwart it] then let’s do what we do when new results contradict existing theories in academia and just collectively agree to ignore it.

TL;DR: Someone at Mihoyo read Simonett’s 1966 essay on The Trial as One of the Performing Arts [Here, just read it, it is fascinating] and decided to make it everyone’s problem

Part 0: if this was not Tumblr.com I would make a recap explaining broadly what Genshin and Fontaine are but since you are reading this I’m going to assume you already know the context.

Part 1: Ok so how does the Fontanian Justice system work, exactly?

Alright, so each area of Teyvat has 1) one core theme/value and 2)a threat to that core theme/value.

Mondstadt has Freedom and people living in fear of a dragon.

Liyue has Contracts/order and the pandemonium of having Rex Lapis killed.

Inazuma has Eternity and being virtually frozen in time.

Sumeru has Knowledge and being entirely manipulated by the Akademia.

Fontaine has Justice and… Justice being parodied into a spectacle?

WRONG.

Because the spectacle of justice, especially the way it is done in Fontaine, is not antithetic to Justice itself. Spectacle is part and parcel of Justice and of any courthouse. Sure, all the dials are turned to 11 and y’know, it is legit called an Opera, but that is more the writers being a bit on the nose and adding drama for the player. The spectacle of Justice, itself, is not that far off from reality. And, hot take but bear with me: it is not (necessarily) a problem.

Ok, let’s dive into what we know of the justice system in Fontaine.

Broadly speaking, we have seen the criminal justice system, and it is an accusatorial, or adversarial model. It’s the US-style criminal procedure: you have a defendant trying to prove that they didn’t do it your honor, and a prosecutor proving that they totally did it your honor. To avoid this becoming a fistfight, you have a strict procedure to follow outside but especially inside the Court, and in the end, a neutral third party decides on the outcome or the trial.

Ok, now let’s zoom on a few things, and why the theatrics of them are actually very common.

Furina, our cringefail darling, is the prosecutor. And they get a lot of stuff right regarding the role of the prosecutor! She decides whether or not to prosecute, based on the information that she has, and whether she likes her odds or not. Fittingly since she is the Archon, the prosecutor in a trial represents the State, the interest of the State (the judge ! does ! not!). It makes sense that Furina, the ruler (theoretically) would be prosecutor and not judge. Moreover, and as we see plenty of times during the trials, Prosecutor Furina is not concerned with the victim, and not even necessarily with the truth; the prosecutor wants to know how likely they are to obtain a conviction in the end. Her job is to be convincing enough to establish a legal truth.

Neuvillette, for his part, sometimes look terribly powerless… but friends, that is what a Judge sitting during a criminal case often is. The first part of his job is to find sufficient information for the prosecution to decide whether or not to prosecute; he is supposed to be entirely neutral at this stage. He kickstarted the investigation straight after the death of Cowell, and was also the one starting investigation on Vaughn right after Lyney is proved innocent. He gathers enough evidence, hands them over to Furina and asks “So? Are you game or do you want to leave that alone?”

And once the prosecutor has decided to move forward with prosecuting, his job is to make the procedure move along, take some decisions based on new information, ensure all respect the rules (hence Childe’s immediate smackdown when he starts to act out a bit too much at the end. My man is here to make sure the rules are enforced and that also applies to Snezhnayan gremlins). In the liminal space of the courthouse, he is the supreme authority… over the procedure. He can tell anyone, including Furina, to stfu k thx. He starts and stops the trial. He allows witnesses to be heard or not.

And the last party involved at this point is the defense, usually the Traveler and any adorable twink we befriended that day [good for you, Traveler, good for you]. They present evidence, they have to be convincing, it’s basically Ace Attorney, we know that part.

Part 2: Mihoyo makes it clear that we are all actors in the Courtroom

Ok, first moment of pause.

Even though these are the most basic parts of a criminal trial, they are ALREADY steeped in drama and theatrics, both IRL and in Fontaine.

First off, Furina plays a prosecutor, Neuvillette plays a judge and the Traveller plays the lawyer.

No but really: they play their role in the Courthouse.

The game painstakingly presents Furina for the first time not as a prosecutor in a courthouse but as a cringefail princess. When we see her initially welcoming the Traveller, going “Fight Me” at them in the streets of Fontaine, she is not a prosecutor, she is just Furina the cringefail princess.  We meet Furina as Furina, and later on only, we see her with her Prosecutor face. Furina is not a prosecutor, outside of the Courthouse.

I don’t even have to explain how much Traveler plays lawyer. We are, and I cannot stress it enough, NOT lawyers (yes, even you who developed an unhealthy obsession with Ace Attorney before Genshin). The developers even took the time to develop an entire new gameplay to really, really highlight that is a behavior that the Traveler can only have in the Courthouse. Traveler is not a lawyer outside of the courthouse.

Neuvillette is a bit of a special case. We do meet him for the first time in the Courthouse, as a Judge. But once again, the moment we meet him outside of the courthouse, he is much more approachable, definitely not the same persona as when he bitchslapped my problematic Harbinger into the Meropides prison [we are so going to write something about the Meropides prison once I have played enough 4.1 my friends – update post 4.1: ok Mihoyo that was weak commentary on the privatization of prison and prison labour but I’ll take it]. Neuvillette is probably the one that is the most associated with his courthouse persona, but there is still this gap between Neuvillette-Judge and Neuvillette-reflecting-in-the-end-of-Chapter-II.

So everyone is just themselves in their daily life, but there is something about a Courthouse that turns people into their judicial role. That’s what we call the liminality of the courthouse (Hadar, 1999). And it exists IRL, in a way shockingly close to what we see in the Opera Epiclese.

Magistrates, whether prosecutors or judges, do not act in their own names, they have a role to play. Someone woke up that morning, had breakfast, swore at the neighbour who did not park properly again, spilled some coffee on their documents again ffs, stumbled a bit on the little steps leading to the courthouse, and then, they put on their costume and started to play the role of the judge. As someone who has been in what can only be referred to as “backstage”  of a court , and entered the courthouse with the magistrates, I cannot stress enough how drastic the shift in person is the moment a magistrate steps into the space of the trial room.  

From there on, they are a Role. Furina, like any prosecutor, is not a prosecutor, until they are The Prosecutor, and then they are not themselves anymore, in the enclosed space of the courthouse. Have you ever seen a lawyer talk in their daily life the way to talk in a courthouse? No. Someone is just some person, until their put on the robe and their Lawyer Face and start their Lawyer Movement and Lawyer Tone. Traveler cannot go all OBJECTION when they have a disagreement with a random shopkeeper in Teyvat. The game doesn’t even give you the option – because you are not lawyer, unless you are in the court. None actually plays a lawyer, unless they are in the courthouse.

And an adversarial model encourages this. You have character, but for it to be a play, or an opera, you need a narrative (murder, ok, that will kickstart a narrative) and you need dramatic tension. Drama is created by the opposition of two characters having opposite goals, confronting each other. Simonett, a former Minessotta Supreme Court Judge, has a fascinating article called “The Trial as One of the Performing Art”, which really ecapsulates how an adversarial system is built on this drama:

‘The trial has a protagonist, and antagnonist, a proscenium and an audience, a story to be told and a problem to be resolved, all usually in three acts”.

More than an inquisitory model (hello, fellow continental Europeans), parties are encouraged to bounce off each other, take initiative, undermine and interact with each other. US courthouse TV shows loooove that, and Genshin absolutely leaned into that. The potential for drama was so strong and intrinsic to the story that For the first time, we got to play a character that was not even with the traveler: Traveler was off investigating, and we played Navia in the courthouse, because the sheer drama of being in the courthouse is too good for the game to pass.

Do you see it yet? Here is more. A judicial role is a role. IRL, a lot of it is emphasized by the robes -the - sometimes complete with wigs and accessories- that judges and magistrates must wear before entering the space of the courthouse. You put them on like you put on a costume -defendant, prosecution, judge and even audience alike (Cabatingan, 2018), there is a ritual of preparing for the performance of a trial the way you prepare for a play. Genshin characters cannot change their clothes [give us a proper fancy-af-judge-robe for Neuvilette Mihoyo you COWARDS], so the game does all it can to realllllyy show you a separation between the judicial role and the actor playing I in the courthouse.

Part 3: Game designers said yes this an Opera and a Courthouse because these are the same thing and they are right

[The urge to include Foucault in this section, but I do not have Discipline and Punish with me rn, rip]

Ok, ok, why not. But what about the stuff that is not in your random courthouse, like a damn AUDIENCE and the fact that it takes place in an actual OPERA ?

Aight, we gotta dive a bit deeper into two things: the role of audience in the judicial spectacular, and studies on legal architecture/judicial space. I told you legal research was cool.

Let’s start with the most obvious one: architecture.

The architecture of Courthouse is actually really important for the delivery of justice. The building embodies the task itself, and targets evert single person that interacts with the building in any way? It matters specifically because we take it for granted, that this this is just a building, that there cannot be more to it. Or: “Law in its everydayness, banks on the usage of visual means of representation, for they seem to lack artifice, and thus enjoy high persuasiveness” (Kumar, 2017, also this is a study on the architecture of the Indian Supreme court and it is so good). But thi is, of course, on purpose.

My friends, your local courthouse looks like an opera. Recently, I went to a play which was entirely a trial, and they barely had to do anything to set-up the scene because… the opera looks like a courthouse, and vice versa. Fontaine’s Opera Epiclese is this on steroid, and also actually used for entertainment like the magic shows, but its architecture and structure are so close to a proper courthouse that once you see it you cannot unsee it. Not matter how different they might look from each other, all, ALL courtroom have the same setup:

Judges on an elevated position compared to all other parties : Neuvillette absolutely kills it here [my man is placed so high up I was close to writing something about the religiosity of justice.]

Prosecution and accused on two opposite sides, virtually separated by the judge, even putting the defendant in their own little liminal space in the liminal space (Zoettl, 2016, Mulcahy, 2007)

Audience space and trial space clearly separated, with interdiction for the audience to enter the trial space

Audience space allowing to clearly see all angles of the trial space

The architecture of courthouse is strikingly similar to that of an opera’s, both in its spatial organization and its grandiose. The entire building is an opera, not just the ground of the stage. You even have a lobby, the space right in the Opera but not the courtroom, which is very similar to the space where people mingle during the interlude at the Opera – the social settings were many legal negotiations happen (Hansen, 2008)

[Fun fact: I am pretty sure the design of the audience space of the Opera Epiclese was inspired by two Parisian Opera houses: the Théâtre de la Comédie Française et the Théâtre du Châtelet. The stage itself is almost more church-like ; I am curious if anyone knows what the inspiration for the “outside building” actually was, for the Opera Epiclese?]

Eltringham (2012) has some really cool writings about the architecture, and people interact with the structure of courts (in his case, the International Criminal for Rwanda) and how all these features contribute to making the courthouse this liminal space where people can play their role, whether they realise it or not.

But, Almost-doctor, I hear you say, what about the spectacle ?! The audience enjoying the show ?!

Ah, yes. The audience. Just as with an Opera, the audience and the actors enter through differentiated means (the “segregation of circulatory systems”), all with their own point of access to the stage or the seats, and never the two shall meet. It is so important to a court system that you will find this feature highlighted by the architects that renovated the Bordeaux Courthouse and the US courthouse design and planning guide [These are just fun and striking illustration I stumbled on while writing this, you can find dozens of others from any given country]. These differentiated access path help reinforce the liminality of the courthouse not just for the actors, but for us, the audience as well.

You could even agree, with Garapon, that the audience itself is “playing” the audience, in the Courthouse (go read Garapon’s 2004 book, if you read French, it’s so good I swear and like it fueled 90% of whatever this word vomit is)). You are not really yourself, you have new, liminal role of spectator. A trial has a “need for a public”, even a silent one. “'Performance always intends an audience”, for Kapferere. and we can indeed talk about a Performance of Justice, when talking about how justice unfolds in the courthouse, especially in a criminal trial (Sausdal and Lohne, 2021).

The audience is an inherent part of the spectacle of justice – because is there a spectacle if there I no audience? If comedians perform a play with no audience, did it really happen? In the words of our own European Court of Human Rights (I am quoting the ECtHR on Tumblr.com, what is life): “Justice must not only be done, but must also be seen to be done” (Delcourt v Belgium, 1970). For Garfinkel “Legal rituals ... depend on the outside witness to confer on them not only recognition but validity” (Garfinkel, 1956);

Or, to put it more eloquently: “The need for the presence of a validating public at trials is enshrined in many constitutions and built into the very fabric of court complexes throughout the world. (…) Tthe court as a whole requires its reflection in the bodies of validating witnesses in order that this created place will bring sufficient gravity to itself.” (Eltringham 2012).

If a courthouse was just about the truth, or the parties involved reaching an agreement on what the truth is, there would be no need for the theatrics. We could handle a trial in a meeting group like problem-solving session in any run-of-the-mill company. Put everyone around the table, have a moderator, have a decider. That actually exist, it’s called arbitration, and you may have never heard of it despite the absolutely enormous amount of money that are involved (we are talking literal Billions of dollars every year, here), because the whole point is that it is discrete and confidential. But that is not how trials are, anywhere. It does exist though. It is called private arbitration, a form of private justice that focuses on problem-solving, expediency and secrecy, often because my friends, it involves big names and big money.

But justice? My friend, it needs to be a spectacle. It needs an Opera. Because this is how it gains sociological legitimacy, and it needs sociological legitimacy to function. By having an audience, it gains transparency and accountability.

Conclusion: teaser on why the spectacle of justice is not necessarily always totally bad, but also I am too tired to fully argue that.

Now, you might that it’s a bad idea. That what Genshin is doing is denouncing this inherently spectacular aspect of Justice, that there is something inherently wrong in justice being public and publicized for the gain of legitimacy, and sure, spectacular justice can become a parody of justice or a manipulation of justice and this has happened many times in history. And yes, you could go for that (although show trials have typically been at the service of an authoritarian regime in a transition phase, rising or declining, and target political opponents, which we do not see in Fontaine) but… I have another take for you.

Justice being a spectacle is not…  inherently bad. 

Hear me out. Making justice into a spectacle does not have to affect its outcome. The presence of a public does not change the course of a play.

Spectacular justice brings elements of entertainment such as narrative fulfillment and catharsis. That is clearly what Fontainians want: a satisfying end to the story, the truth exposed. Justice as a spectacle help people make sense of their reality, comfort them in knowing that justice does prevail. That the guilty do not go scott-free, that the good guys win, that justice is transparent, that prosecutor need to be able to build a good story to prosecute, and there is no good story is there is not someone who caused harm, and a victim that deserves justice. And, from the information we have so far, this does not seem to lead to miscarriages of justices, or a generally biased justice system. But frankly this is too long already and I just wanted to show that the depiction of the Spectacular in everyday justice is actually present everywhere IRL, and Genshin is just providing a really handy illustration, at this point of the story.

The Fontanian system is fucked, don’t get me wrong, but that’s not about the spectacular on its own. Long story short since it be worth its own word-vomit-style essay, it’s because the jury has been replaced by ChatGPT and there is no civil court, only a criminal court, k bye.

[pinkcrocss]

Limoreau #1: Sharing is Caring

A/n: This isn't really one of the two long-form fics I mentioned that I was working on, I just had an idea and wanted to write to out. Please be gentle, I really have like no writing experience. I'm literally just trying it out.

It's the end of the semester AKA the busiest time for Professor Brink's only TA, Jordan Li.

Jordan's closest friends are worried because no one can ever pull them away from work when they get like this.

Well... maybe not "no one"

1,200 words

“- so, of course professor Ravi would assign me an entire 10 page paper just cuz I missed a couple dumbass participation points. It’s not like you need to attend every lecture to pass the class… GOD! That guy’s the worst! I mean, you had him last year Jordan, he sucked, right?”

“Mmh.” A short grunt was the only response Andre received as Jordan continued typing rapidly on their laptop.

It was nearing the end of the semester, and as Brink’s TA, Jordan was as swamped as they could possibly be. Grading finals, marking late submissions, final papers, etc. Why Brink decided to take on 4 different courses this year, they couldn’t figure out. Maybe because he knew he could offload all his work to Jordan, a niggling, bitter voice seemed to whisper in their ear, before they shook their head and got back to work.

The other inhabitants of the picnic table watched them with varied looks of exasperation and bemusement. Usually at this point in the semester, Andre, Cate and Luke were lucky if they could catch a glimpse of the shifter outside of their dorm or Brink’s office, much less have an actual sit down conversation.

The trio had been lucky enough to catch Jordan unawares as they had been crossing the quad on their way through campus. They had quickly joined the unsuspecting supe at their table, hoping to entice them to spend a little time socializing, to no effect it seemed. 

“Dude! Are you even listening?” Andre carried on with an air of frustration.

“Mhmm.” Once again came the lackluster response, as Jordan still wouldn’t look up from the screen.

Andre glanced at the other two occupants of the table for help, as Luke decided to toss his hat in the ring.

“Say Jordan, I was thinking, how about you and I take some time to spar today. Feels like I haven’t had an actual challenge for some time now.”

Jordan, ever the competitive overachiever, usually jumped at any chance to prove themself, especially against Godolkin’s own #1 ranked student. Luke had been sure to throw in some subtle ego stroking at the end too. He was sure it would be a guaranteed hit, until..

“Sorry, dude. Really busy. Maybe another time.” Once again, Jordan never glanced up from the screen even once.

Incredulous, he and Andre exchanged a look before turning to Cate who just rolled her eyes.

“Don’t bother guys. You know how they get around this time. I don’t think even a meteor could get their attention now.” She giggled.

As she continued to glance across the quad, Cate’s eyes suddenly widened as if she’d caught sight of a miracle. 

“Oh! Hey Marie!”

Immediately, Jordan’s head snapped up almost unconsciously. They watched as the infamous freshman made her way towards their table. 

Marie looked pretty as always, with her locs flowing freely down her back, her big doe eyes and her signature red lip. However, as she got closer, Jordan noted that she wore a tired smile and her eyes almost seemed to squint away from the sunlight.

Jordan had spent a lot of time observing Marie as of late. Initially rejecting her from Brink’s intro to crimefighting, the ever tenacious freshman was able to make a name for herself after seriously saving Andre’s ass during a stupid incident at a seven tower party that she had attended with their group.

She had finally been able to convince Brink to let her take the course, and after a few weeks of frosty silence, had actually started to warm up to Jordan once they had mustered the courage to offer a proper apology. Now one of the most diligent students in the class, they often spent hours together working side by side during Jordan’s office hours.

Jordan had grown to really enjoy her company, as well as a massive amount of respect for her work ethic. If their heart seemed to beat a little bit faster, when she would lean into their space to ask a question, or when she would hit them with one of her big, blinding smiles every time they praised her work, well that’s something they could investigate whenever they got to it.

Marie having finally reached the table, Cate was the first to call out.

“Marie, are you okay? You look totally out of it!”

“Ha.” Marie gave an awkward laugh, as she waved away the concern. “No biggie, just this headache’s been bothering me all morning.”

Andre opened his mouth, as if to offer some commiseration. But before he could speak, another voice cut in swiftly.

“Did you get enough sleep last night?”

Turning to Jordan, Marie offered an answer just as swiftly. “Yeah. No less than usual. I’m not sure if that’s the issue.”

Looking pensive, Jordan glanced down for a second before looking back up at Marie. “When’s the last time you drank any water?”

“I-” Marie paused to think about it before staring at the ground sheepishly. “Probably yesterday afternoon.”

“There it is! I told you, you never drink enough water! Didn’t I say it would come back to bite you?” Jordan now had a smug look on their face. Looking livelier than they had all day. 

“Whatever, Jordan. I’m glad my pain is amusing to you.” Marie said, rolling her eyes fondly.

The other forgotten inhabitants of the table watched the exchange with slight surprise and bemusement.

“Here you go.” Jordan said, pulling a plastic water bottle out of their bag. They handed it to Marie, who received it nervously.

“Are you sure? I don’t want to take your only bottle.”

“It’s fine Marie.” Was the glib reply. “Unlike you, I actually remember to keep myself hydrated. And I have more in the office.” Jordan continued to rummage through their bag.

“And here.” They handed her a protein bar. “If you went this long without water, I’m assuming you skipped breakfast too.”

Marie received the snack gratefully. 

“Thanks Jordan!” She mumbled, almost nervously. “You’re actually the best.”

She bent down to give Jordan a brief hug, which was unexpected going by the surprise on Jordan’s face, before waving goodbye to the rest of the table and heading off.

Desperately trying to tamp down the blush on their face, Jordan slowly zipped up their bag and slid it underneath the table. Looking up, they were shocked to see the amused faces of their three friends, looking like they were barely holding in a laugh.

“...what?” They asked hesitantly

“Nothing.” Cate replied, obvious laughter in her voice. “Just making some observations.”

“Whatever.” Jordan replied, looking back at the words on their laptop screen. For some reason, they were no longer as inclined to lose themselves in the flow of grading and reviewing essays. Thoughts of Marie, the warmth of her body when she’d embraced them, the vanilla scent of her skin, swirled around in their head.

“What the fuck?! They're still smiling!” They could hear Andre poorly attempting to whisper across the table. And with some measure of satisfaction, Jordan realized that they were.

[yourpenpaldee]

·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ A BRIEF WIPS OVERVIEW.

Hello! I am not good with deadlines, especially when I set them myself. This post was supposed to be up three days ago, but it’s finally here! I’m very excited to share these projects as they were all created from different periods of my life, going back four years at the most.

These will be very short intros, but each WIP mentioned here will have a proper, detailed post when it’s time. The projects also aren’t listed in sequential order of when I’ll post about them with the exception of the first WIP.

A heads-up, most of these are romance since I used to write only romance. It was only about two years ago since I decided to finally branch out, and those stories will be coming soon! For now, I still have to figure out how to write characters that have a way higher IQ than I do…

On we go to the WIPs!

WHEN ART TALKS

— currently undergoing the first draft. — first person — a college romance where a reserved poet who is afraid of public perception connects with an outspoken musician due to their preference on using words as their art medium. — contains late night walk convos, cigarette smoking, passionate rambles, and microwaved meals. — “‘Why do we care about them when it’s our story to tell? We live our truth, we speak our truth, and we have to trust that it’s good enough because it’s all we got. The message will be received by those who are meant to hear it.’”

BLIND SECOND CHANCES

— currently undergoing the first draft. — dual first person — an adult romance in which ex-friends turned (unofficial) ex-lovers from high school decide to explore the old feelings that resurface when crossing paths eight years later. — lots of reminiscing, betrayal, weekly wine nights, and fancy dates. — “‘You’re holding onto a love from a situation where we didn’t even know our place in the world yet. We spent nearly eight years growing into the people we are now, so you need to be prepared for our dynamic to look and feel different because we aren’t the same kids we once were.’”

TO NEW BEGINNINGS

— brainstorming complete, drafting to begin soon. — third person, still deciding on the type — an adult romance story of a woman who decides it’s time to start over on a blank canvas, and meets a booked and busy workaholic along the way. — roller skating, painting, solo adventures, and plant shopping. — “‘It’s scary to deviate from your current life and start anew when your life no longer serves you or your purpose. But I’m not equipped for misery, so I’ll be damned trying to save a life that lost the chance of saving forever ago.’”

UNTITLED ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE

— currently a 3am one-liner, brainstorming begins soon — pov to be determined, leaning towards third person limited. — an apocalyptic fiction where a teenage girl fights everyday to survive in an ongoing zombie apocalypse with hopes of finding her younger sister. — found family, zombie slaying, survival vs. morality, and, uh… death. — “She looked at every colorless home she walked by and wondered what stories could be told. What every stored memory that slipped through the cracks consisted of and the emotions they’d provoke. If the lives that once occupied these spaces were unfortunately fortunate enough to make it out like she did. If they constantly watched the memories flash before their eyes as they realized those would be the last batch of joyful, painless memories; how remembering became torturous and insufferable, but is all they have to remind them of their own humanity.”

UNTITLED TWISTED BONNIE & CLYDE

— currently a 3am one-liner, brainstorming begins soon — first person peripheral or third person limited — a dark and twisted romance where two toxic lovers are at the beginning of an inevitable end and play fire with fire the entire way through. — manipulation, heists, lies, and expensive jewelry. — “The venom drips off of every word she says. She watches every last drop seep into my skin and become one with the blood that runs through my veins. How it attempts to shut down my body in hopes that I’ll beg for mercy in my final moments of weakness. That I’ll surrender my life into her hands as those soulless and apathetic eyes beam with some sick and twisted excitement. But I am sick and twisted too. We are two bodies wrapped in the same snake skin, and a snake cannot get poisoned by its own venom.”

PAST LIFE LOVER

— redoing the brainstorm process — first person or objective third person (quote will be in third person) — a soulmate, young adult romance in which a girl who no longer believes in love suddenly gets pulled in by the new barista at her favorite hangout spot. — love at first sight, breakfast deliveries, denial, and baking. lots of baking. — “Then there it was. The locking of the eyes where the inability to look away grows more and more intense with each passing second. They didn’t even know each other, but something in their eyes told them that there was a home waiting for them within each other’s souls.”

ANGEL AND KEN*

— currently on the backburner, brainstorming resumes once past life lover is complete. — prequel to past life lover. — *very much a temporary title — first person or objective third person — a 50’s historical romance where a pessimistic single mother is convinced to see the greener side of the grass by a jazz musician who looks at life through a rose-colored lens. — jazz clubs, slow dancing, tea parties, and red corvettes — “‘Why shut yourself out from the world when there are people like me that have waited for you to waltz right into their life? I know, the modern day world is frightening and filled with so much hatred that it’s hard to find happiness through it all. But people find a purpose to wake up every morning because of that one person that casts the brightest light. You’re my sun in a world full of darkness, and I hope to be the moon that reflects your light when you’re no longer visible in the sky.’”

I know I keep saying it, but I truly can’t wait to properly share these projects. I just hope everyone will enjoy reading it all and find comfort within these characters :)

I will post the the detailed summary for When Art Talks either on Monday or Tuesday (please yell at me if i don’t follow through omg), and the character intros should follow closely behind!

divider creds to strangergraphics ♡

[zilabee]

I listened to the final ep of @anotherkindofmindpod's Fine Tuning, yesterday. I'm so sad it's ended. I loved every.single.second. I don't think I've posted about it at all, but it's only because everyone was already saying it better, and my posts end up in drafts half finished and confused and full of runaway sentences of little import.

I'm really grateful for the whole thing. Grateful the way I was when I watched Understanding Lennon McCartney the first time, like being given a genuine gift of fandom making sense of itself. I don't know. It's just lovely to have. And it's done so well.

When, in the first ep, they casually mentioned that there were going to be ELEVEN episodes I knew it was going to be amazing. Proper genuine "we have a lot to say and we're going to say it all so you don't think we didn't think it through" you know? I love that they didn't start making eleven episodes and then decide that was too many and cut 40% of it out, it's more like they wanted to make twenty episodes and then cut out about 40% of that. Making eleven episodes and then being like 'we didn't even have time to talk about anything that we LIKED about this book' is a real move. A perfect shiny move.

The fact they made a spreadsheet sends me into fits. I love it.

Cards on the table I have not read Tune In properly, I have skimmed and picked at it, and obviously I've seen loads of it quoted on tumblr, but EVERY quote you read from it (and everything he says in interviews) makes it so fucking OBVIOUS that he doesn't understand basic things, I've never been able to face it full on. And the frustration that people (men) can't see how bad it is. So having it put out there like this, bit by bit, oh the joy of it.

And then it's also so much worse than I knew, because I'd never really worked out that he was just MAKING UP QUOTES and mushing them together to say new things, and oh my god the stuff that's NOT in there, is insane. The bit in episode 3 where AKOM quickly list off about five or six really interesting things about Paul's art in his schooldays and then you find out that Tune In didn't even MENTION that he liked to paintklsjdofihoijsodijfohwoisjdf OH MY GOD.

I'm blown away by the work of it, and the scale of it, and how well put together it was. I love the *feel* of it. I love its tone when they let the sarcasm ride high. The voices of "sincere surprise" are just my favourite thing. "Oh, so he mentions that Paul did x and y right?" "Actually, weirdly he doesn't!" "Oh, HOW STRANGE. But does he say he was interested in z???" "Oddly no." I love the sense of giddy anticipation in the intro ep, it must have been killing them to have made so much of it and not be able to talk about it.

I'm so fully aware that all of what they're saying will move into other podcasts, and become things that men sort of talk about as if obviously everyone kind of sees the bias in Tune In, even though they've always talked about it as if it's a great work of truth until now. It kills me softly. And they'll claim it's only POSSIBLE to see that now, ten years later when it's spelled out to them, as if it's aged badly or something, when actually female fandom has been fucked off with Tune In for fucking years. But that's FINE. WHATEVER.

Also glorious have been all the posts people posted around it, and how the conversation grew, and especially the fact that @mythserene had clearly been doing a lot of the same work. Her posts in tandem with the show are so wonderful, and make it even more special, the depth of fandom for the love of fandom <3333333